This weekend kicked my ass. I was going to say butt, but then that wouldn't emphasize how much this weekend sucked. This kind of weekend calls for strong words. Let me just get into it.
Friday night I was skyping with my husband when I got this horrible stomach ache. I mean bad. I even had to leave our conversation for a few minutes because I thought I was going to vomit. I never did, but I was so nauseous it was hard to get comfortable. I have all sorts of GI problems, and I thought that it was just some really bad heartburn. I took all of the meds I have for this sort of thing, and decided to sleep it off.
The next morning, I realized that my plan of action didn't help much so I took all my meds again and headed off for my Saturday morning class. The pain changed from achy and burning to intense cramps that came in waves. Normally my GI issues cause me to have lower abdomen pain, but this was different. The pain was focused under my ribcage and in my upper stomach area. Nothing was bringing me relief.
I like to think that I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and I can normally tough things out but by the time this thing had lasted for 24 hours, I was crying. Literally bawling my eyes out. Part of it was frustration, some of it was due to feeling helpless, but most of it was because I was in so much pain and I just wanted it to end. So I decided to head to the ER.
There is nothing more scary than heading to the ER by yourself. I'm sure I could have called a few women who would have came with me if I needed it, but I really didn't want to bother them. They all have kids and there was no reason they should be out all night with me. All I wanted was my husband home...home to take care of me and sit in the waiting room with me while I waited. Thanks to deployments, there was only 2 doctors working that night and some stupid life-or-death emergency came in making my wait 3.5 hours long! I sat there in serious pain, ready to cry again, and all I wanted to do was go home.
The doctor finally came in to see me around 11:30 pm, and they started an IV filling me with all sorts of good drugs that were supposed to help. I laid there...by myself...exhausted and hurting and not getting any relief from that damn IV. Finally they came in and gave me a GI cocktail. If you don't know what that is, let me tell you it became my new best friend that night. It is a drink full of about three drugs and lidocaine. It numbs your entire GI tract bringing instant relief. After about 27+ hours of pain, I was finally feeling better. And so I slept until the doctor came back in to release me.
Turns out all of my enzymes came back normal so thats a good thing, but it means that I was suffering from gastritis or an ulcer. Unfortunately, I think it is the latter. My stomach is feeling very tender and I'm terrified to eat anything! Bland food is all I can eat without my stomach trying to murder me. I'm headed to my regular doctor in an hour to see what they can do for me.
Too bad my weekend didn't end there though. I was released from the hospital around 1 am, and my phone was completely dead. I plugged it into my charger as I headed home and it was broke. It would not move past the initial screen. I knew my parents were probably freaking out because they couldn't get ahold of me and I half expected to wake up Sunday morning with them standing on my front porch (I live close to 300 miles away from them).
By the time Verizon fixed my phone and I got in touch with my Mom, I found out that I was close to right. That morning she was asking my Dad if they needed to head down to check on me. She was afraid they had admitted me and I would need someone to come take care of me. I am so lucky to have a Mom who cares enough to jump in the car and drive 300 miles just to check on me.
But anyways, that was my weekend. Last night it snowed here in Tennessee, and these people act like they have no clue what to do when that happens so school is cancelled for the day. That has to be my favorite thing about working in the school system. Hope all of you had a better weekend than I did!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Oh my...it's been a while. About a week after my last post, I packed up my stuff and moved back into my parents house for the summer. In my program, I have the freedom to take a summer internship anywhere within the United States. Our classes are held online this summer, and I took the opportunity to spend a few weeks back home with my family. Since Blake is deployed, being at home with my family is about the best place to be. And it helps the time go by quickly because I stay pretty busy!
These last five weeks have been full of learning and growing opportunities. This deployment has been slightly different than the last one, but I expected that. During this past week, Blake's company experienced their first casualty of the deployment. Blake had informed about it around 8 that morning, and my heart instantly went out to his family. That is a tragedy I hope to never experience.
The news of a casualty made me realize that he is actually in a dangerous place. Sometimes it's easy to just think he's somewhere around the world sitting in a shop and working on trucks. It's easy to forget about the danger when nothing is going on. I hate being reminded that it is dangerous. Quite honestly, if you constantly thought about dangerous it is, you would go insane.
Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, and that is true for everyone-not just soldiers in war zones. You have to live everyday you have to the fullest. That means I make most out of every second I get with Blake...even if those moments come via a phone call. Because no amount of worrying or talking about the dangers will change what happens tomorrow or the next day or even in the next year. I put faith in God, and know that he has the best plan in mind. Everything happens for a reason even if we don't understand it.
These last five weeks have been full of learning and growing opportunities. This deployment has been slightly different than the last one, but I expected that. During this past week, Blake's company experienced their first casualty of the deployment. Blake had informed about it around 8 that morning, and my heart instantly went out to his family. That is a tragedy I hope to never experience.
The news of a casualty made me realize that he is actually in a dangerous place. Sometimes it's easy to just think he's somewhere around the world sitting in a shop and working on trucks. It's easy to forget about the danger when nothing is going on. I hate being reminded that it is dangerous. Quite honestly, if you constantly thought about dangerous it is, you would go insane.
Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, and that is true for everyone-not just soldiers in war zones. You have to live everyday you have to the fullest. That means I make most out of every second I get with Blake...even if those moments come via a phone call. Because no amount of worrying or talking about the dangers will change what happens tomorrow or the next day or even in the next year. I put faith in God, and know that he has the best plan in mind. Everything happens for a reason even if we don't understand it.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Telephone
When Blake & I were dating, we would spend hours on the phone. We would talk on the phone, then meet each other for a date, then talk to each other when we got home. We talked all the time. We would be on the phone for several hours each night. We would talk so long that the battery on the house phone would die, and then when we became old enough to get cell phones, we would talk until the phones became so hot we thought they would burst into flames at any given moment.
We talked about anything and everything. We would tell each other all about our days, talk about what funny things had happened to us, talk about the future, and we would talk about nothing. Sometimes our conversations got so boring that we would fall asleep on the phone together. And I don't mean that in the oh-thats-so-cute way, I mean that in the we had talked so long that we had nothing left to say and we would accidentally just fall asleep. Some times I would wake up at 2 am with my phone still attached to my ear.
I loved that about our relationship. If you know me at all, then you know I'm a talker. I love talking, and I love talking to anyone who would listen. And because Blake was wooing me at that point, he would listen. The longer we dated and especially once we got engaged, the less and less we talked mainly for the simple reason that we got really, really busy. And we had also run out of things to talk about. We still talked everyday, just for a shorter amount of time. Our conversations changed at this point too. Blake and I were living about 300 miles apart so when we talked, we mainly talked about each others' day, when we would see each other next, and we started making plans for our future.
Then we got married, and our communication pattern had to change once again. When you see everyone each day, there's not much need for phone calls. He still calls on his way home from PT to tell say good morning and to wish me a good day. I'll call him when I get off work and am heading to school just to check in. And then of course I call when I get out of school to let him know it's time to start cooking! :) But there is no need for an hour long conversation. Even when were both at home, we don't have hour long conversations. We still tell each other about our days and share funny stories and our frustrations from the day. We talk about what we want for dinner, what chores need to be done, finances, and what we want to do for the weekend. On the rare occasions, we get into deep conversations about our relationship, our future, and where we see ourselves in the next five years.
It seems like every time we get settled into a pattern, life switches on us again and we have to relearn how to do things all over again. And that is so true in the military. The second you get used to something, the military changes everything up. Deployments rear their ugly heads, and our communication pattern gets changed all over again. And that's what we're going through right now. When you're 7800 miles apart, your communication pattern has to changes or your just going to fall flat on your face. I have to admit, we've been falling flat on our face the past week and a half.
It just hasn't been easy for me, and I believe for him too, to transition into this deployment. It's been really hard. And today I realized why. We haven't been talking. I mean we talk almost every day, but there is a difference between telling each other about our day and actually talking. We talked for 40 minutes today. I was able to tell him about everything that has been frustrating me, about our lives in the past week, and about what is coming up. We talked about important stuff and things that aren't so important. It was like one of our high school conversations. Sometimes, I miss those conversations.
There's not much good that comes out of a deployment, but temporarily we get to turn back into those high school kids who were crazy about each other and could not get enough talking time in. And that is a great thing!
We talked about anything and everything. We would tell each other all about our days, talk about what funny things had happened to us, talk about the future, and we would talk about nothing. Sometimes our conversations got so boring that we would fall asleep on the phone together. And I don't mean that in the oh-thats-so-cute way, I mean that in the we had talked so long that we had nothing left to say and we would accidentally just fall asleep. Some times I would wake up at 2 am with my phone still attached to my ear.
I loved that about our relationship. If you know me at all, then you know I'm a talker. I love talking, and I love talking to anyone who would listen. And because Blake was wooing me at that point, he would listen. The longer we dated and especially once we got engaged, the less and less we talked mainly for the simple reason that we got really, really busy. And we had also run out of things to talk about. We still talked everyday, just for a shorter amount of time. Our conversations changed at this point too. Blake and I were living about 300 miles apart so when we talked, we mainly talked about each others' day, when we would see each other next, and we started making plans for our future.
Then we got married, and our communication pattern had to change once again. When you see everyone each day, there's not much need for phone calls. He still calls on his way home from PT to tell say good morning and to wish me a good day. I'll call him when I get off work and am heading to school just to check in. And then of course I call when I get out of school to let him know it's time to start cooking! :) But there is no need for an hour long conversation. Even when were both at home, we don't have hour long conversations. We still tell each other about our days and share funny stories and our frustrations from the day. We talk about what we want for dinner, what chores need to be done, finances, and what we want to do for the weekend. On the rare occasions, we get into deep conversations about our relationship, our future, and where we see ourselves in the next five years.
It seems like every time we get settled into a pattern, life switches on us again and we have to relearn how to do things all over again. And that is so true in the military. The second you get used to something, the military changes everything up. Deployments rear their ugly heads, and our communication pattern gets changed all over again. And that's what we're going through right now. When you're 7800 miles apart, your communication pattern has to changes or your just going to fall flat on your face. I have to admit, we've been falling flat on our face the past week and a half.
It just hasn't been easy for me, and I believe for him too, to transition into this deployment. It's been really hard. And today I realized why. We haven't been talking. I mean we talk almost every day, but there is a difference between telling each other about our day and actually talking. We talked for 40 minutes today. I was able to tell him about everything that has been frustrating me, about our lives in the past week, and about what is coming up. We talked about important stuff and things that aren't so important. It was like one of our high school conversations. Sometimes, I miss those conversations.
There's not much good that comes out of a deployment, but temporarily we get to turn back into those high school kids who were crazy about each other and could not get enough talking time in. And that is a great thing!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Deployments suck. There is no other way to put it. They suck. Stink is not a strong enough word, and suck barely meets the criteria. Things that would barely shake me before, are killing me now. I'm the only one here to deal with things, and I just did not expect it to be this difficult.
Everything that can go wrong, has. And everything that can stress me out, is. Gah! It's enough to make me scream. But then I'm afraid my neighbors would think I'm being murdered and call 911. Our apartment has really thin walls. Really, really thin walls. Actually, I think they've gotten thinner since Blake left. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear all this noise before...but maybe that's just cause Blake was louder than them.
Moving on. On Thursday, I was all set to head to school and then head home to Indiana for the weekend. One of my good friends was getting married on Friday night and I was really excited to come home and watch them say "I do." And then there was a noise. And it was a loud noise. I am no car mechanic-heck, I barely know how to pop the hood so I did the only thing I knew how to do. Called my Dad. Who is 240 miles away at this point. He didn't know what it was, and it went away so he figured it wasn't anything too bad. So then I did the second thing I knew how to do. I bought the best package AAA has. I figured if I had any problem on the road home, then I could call them. And they would give me a rental car so I could get home.
I went to class and found out my professor was sick, and did the most logical thing a graduate student could do. Skipped class. I was headed home an hour and half early and I was psyched. Until I got outside. My car was leaking something red. I figured I would start driving anyways cause if it was something horrible I would know pretty quickly. Turns out I was right. Pretty quickly I realized that it was my power steering fluid, and I had no power steering. I stopped at O'Reilly's because in my opinion, they should know everything about cars.
They informed me that, because my fluid was "spurting" that my car could catch on fire! In other words I was stranded. And apparently, AAA doesn't kick in for another 3 days. They would however, tow me 5 miles for free and then charge me $5/a mile after that. Meaning that it would cost me $300 to tow my car from Bowling Green to Clarksville. After an hour and a half of people trying to help me and talking on the phone to everyone in the world, finally someone looked at my car and realized that oh ya, it's not spurting anymore. It's just leaking out onto the ground. I.E. I could have kept on driving and been half way home. Ugh.
I hate car problems. Especially when my husband is out of the country and I don't know another man within 120 miles. I don't deal with car problems. That's my husband's job or my dad's job. Unfortunately for my father, it has now become his job. I hate having stress in my life, and I hate feeling helpless. That is just what happens when your a woman and your car breaks down hours away from all of your family. I felt totally helpless sitting in the parking lot, not knowing how I was going to get home that night.
Although it turned out alright, it brought up the realization for the first time that I am on my own. This year is going to be long, and it's going to be a learning experience. I'm just hoping I don't have to relive that learning experience again. Lesson learned: purchase AAA long before you actually need it.
Everything that can go wrong, has. And everything that can stress me out, is. Gah! It's enough to make me scream. But then I'm afraid my neighbors would think I'm being murdered and call 911. Our apartment has really thin walls. Really, really thin walls. Actually, I think they've gotten thinner since Blake left. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear all this noise before...but maybe that's just cause Blake was louder than them.
Moving on. On Thursday, I was all set to head to school and then head home to Indiana for the weekend. One of my good friends was getting married on Friday night and I was really excited to come home and watch them say "I do." And then there was a noise. And it was a loud noise. I am no car mechanic-heck, I barely know how to pop the hood so I did the only thing I knew how to do. Called my Dad. Who is 240 miles away at this point. He didn't know what it was, and it went away so he figured it wasn't anything too bad. So then I did the second thing I knew how to do. I bought the best package AAA has. I figured if I had any problem on the road home, then I could call them. And they would give me a rental car so I could get home.
I went to class and found out my professor was sick, and did the most logical thing a graduate student could do. Skipped class. I was headed home an hour and half early and I was psyched. Until I got outside. My car was leaking something red. I figured I would start driving anyways cause if it was something horrible I would know pretty quickly. Turns out I was right. Pretty quickly I realized that it was my power steering fluid, and I had no power steering. I stopped at O'Reilly's because in my opinion, they should know everything about cars.
They informed me that, because my fluid was "spurting" that my car could catch on fire! In other words I was stranded. And apparently, AAA doesn't kick in for another 3 days. They would however, tow me 5 miles for free and then charge me $5/a mile after that. Meaning that it would cost me $300 to tow my car from Bowling Green to Clarksville. After an hour and a half of people trying to help me and talking on the phone to everyone in the world, finally someone looked at my car and realized that oh ya, it's not spurting anymore. It's just leaking out onto the ground. I.E. I could have kept on driving and been half way home. Ugh.
I hate car problems. Especially when my husband is out of the country and I don't know another man within 120 miles. I don't deal with car problems. That's my husband's job or my dad's job. Unfortunately for my father, it has now become his job. I hate having stress in my life, and I hate feeling helpless. That is just what happens when your a woman and your car breaks down hours away from all of your family. I felt totally helpless sitting in the parking lot, not knowing how I was going to get home that night.
Although it turned out alright, it brought up the realization for the first time that I am on my own. This year is going to be long, and it's going to be a learning experience. I'm just hoping I don't have to relive that learning experience again. Lesson learned: purchase AAA long before you actually need it.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
And it is finally here
I have been trying to find the words to write this entry for several days now, and I just haven't been able to do it. It's really hard to find the words to describe one of the hardest days of my life. And it wasn't just one day, it was THREE! Because the Army hates me.
On Wednesday, we went out to breakfast with Blake's parents, siblings, aunt & uncle, cousin, and grandparents. Every time he deploys, we have to have breakfast together as a family at Cracker Barrel. So we followed tradition and all gathered for one last meal with him. We sat and chatted and laughed and told stories and cried. More specifically, I cried. I kept having to escape to the bathroom so I wouldn't start a chain reaction.
But this was nothing new to Blake, I had spent the morning crying. I woke up with knots in my stomach knowing that I had to say goodbye into him for a year. And then I cried. And he held me. And I stopped crying for about 5 seconds and then started again. It was a viscous cycle. But eventually I stopped long enough to get out of bed and get myself ready for the day.
So anyways. We had to say goodbye to his grandparents after breakfast, because they had a long drive ahead of them. Blake and his Grandma are very close and it's always an emotional goodbye, but what killed me, was when his Grandpa started to cry. I just can't take it when stoic men cry.
And then we left for the base. It was the worst car ride of my life. Every mile we drove took us closer to the place where I had to leave my best friend. By the time we got there, I was bawling like a baby. Blake couldn't even look at me. I was a crying mess. Mascara down my face, eyes as swollen as they could get, and a runny nose. Just the way I wanted him to see me before he left for a year.
I never imagined letting him go would be as hard and as painful as it was. Second to losing my best friend, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I can't even describe what it is like to watch the love of your life walk away, knowing that he will 7800 miles away and will not return for a year.
But then he was back in 5 hours. There plane broke down, and then Army was nice enough to let us know that we would have to repeat this day everyday until they finally got a plane. But that didn't happen. We were told a few hours after that they would fly out on Friday. So Friday, we began to repeat the process. Going out to breakfast, taking pictures, watching him pack, and driving back to post. And then...we get a text. No plane again.
At this point, I was very frustrated. Not that he wasn't leaving, because as far as I was concerned, they could just not leave at all. But I was very frustrated because I just wanted to know when this was going to end. I wanted to know when the knot in my stomach could go away. And when I could begin living my life again. At this point, I hadn't been to work in a week, hadn't gone to school in two weeks, and had piles of homework left to do.
On Friday, we found out that they would be leaving on Sunday. We spent the rest of the weekend eating, watching movies, and being bums. Which was the perfect way to spend our last weekend together. On Sunday, I repeated Wednesday just with a little less tears. It was still incredibly hard to say goodbye to him. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave.
Goodbyes are never easy, and they're even harder when it's someone who has invaded every part of your life. I couldn't have imagined on my wedding day how big of an impact he would have on my life or how much more I would love him. These made this goodbye extra hard. But it's also what will make this deployment easy. Because of how much I love him and how much he means to me, this deployment will be a breeze. Anything is possible when you're doing it for someone you love.
On Wednesday, we went out to breakfast with Blake's parents, siblings, aunt & uncle, cousin, and grandparents. Every time he deploys, we have to have breakfast together as a family at Cracker Barrel. So we followed tradition and all gathered for one last meal with him. We sat and chatted and laughed and told stories and cried. More specifically, I cried. I kept having to escape to the bathroom so I wouldn't start a chain reaction.
But this was nothing new to Blake, I had spent the morning crying. I woke up with knots in my stomach knowing that I had to say goodbye into him for a year. And then I cried. And he held me. And I stopped crying for about 5 seconds and then started again. It was a viscous cycle. But eventually I stopped long enough to get out of bed and get myself ready for the day.
So anyways. We had to say goodbye to his grandparents after breakfast, because they had a long drive ahead of them. Blake and his Grandma are very close and it's always an emotional goodbye, but what killed me, was when his Grandpa started to cry. I just can't take it when stoic men cry.
And then we left for the base. It was the worst car ride of my life. Every mile we drove took us closer to the place where I had to leave my best friend. By the time we got there, I was bawling like a baby. Blake couldn't even look at me. I was a crying mess. Mascara down my face, eyes as swollen as they could get, and a runny nose. Just the way I wanted him to see me before he left for a year.
I never imagined letting him go would be as hard and as painful as it was. Second to losing my best friend, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I can't even describe what it is like to watch the love of your life walk away, knowing that he will 7800 miles away and will not return for a year.
But then he was back in 5 hours. There plane broke down, and then Army was nice enough to let us know that we would have to repeat this day everyday until they finally got a plane. But that didn't happen. We were told a few hours after that they would fly out on Friday. So Friday, we began to repeat the process. Going out to breakfast, taking pictures, watching him pack, and driving back to post. And then...we get a text. No plane again.
At this point, I was very frustrated. Not that he wasn't leaving, because as far as I was concerned, they could just not leave at all. But I was very frustrated because I just wanted to know when this was going to end. I wanted to know when the knot in my stomach could go away. And when I could begin living my life again. At this point, I hadn't been to work in a week, hadn't gone to school in two weeks, and had piles of homework left to do.
On Friday, we found out that they would be leaving on Sunday. We spent the rest of the weekend eating, watching movies, and being bums. Which was the perfect way to spend our last weekend together. On Sunday, I repeated Wednesday just with a little less tears. It was still incredibly hard to say goodbye to him. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave.
Goodbyes are never easy, and they're even harder when it's someone who has invaded every part of your life. I couldn't have imagined on my wedding day how big of an impact he would have on my life or how much more I would love him. These made this goodbye extra hard. But it's also what will make this deployment easy. Because of how much I love him and how much he means to me, this deployment will be a breeze. Anything is possible when you're doing it for someone you love.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Learning to Dance in the Rain
We are 4 days away from the deployment, and I am really feeling it. I'm just not ready, but then again, I don't think I will ever be. No matter how many times I will have to do this, I don't think I will ever be ready to send him half way around the world. Nothing can prepare you for this, but that doesn't mean I haven't been trying.
This quote has been my motto for the last 6 weeks as I've been preparing for this deployment: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I'm living, breathing, and eating that motto right now. I'm trying to dance in this rainstorm we are in right now.
It's just not a fun time for us right now. All I can think about is the deployment, and thats the last thing Blake wants to think about. I'm the type of person who needs to talk about something until I'm blue in the face, and that's not exactly Blake's style. He's a very stoic man, and while I know this is hard for him too, he just doesn't show it much.
We're learning to find the little positives in our situation. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds during the last deployment, and we are looking forward to that. Being apart for a year, adds depth and maturity to a relationship in a way no other experience can. You learn new things about your spouse, learn to let things go, and learn how to keep communication open in new ways. I have been able to appreciate Blake in a thousand new ways due to our previous deployment and to preparing for another deployment.
While this year seems like it's going to last forever, I know it's only a minuscule amount of time when compared to the rest of our lives. I'm ready to jump into this deployment, because there is no other way. You don't get to dip your toes into it to see if your ready to get in, you don't get to ease into, you just have to jump cannonball style into it. And that's what we are getting ready to do.
This quote has been my motto for the last 6 weeks as I've been preparing for this deployment: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I'm living, breathing, and eating that motto right now. I'm trying to dance in this rainstorm we are in right now.
It's just not a fun time for us right now. All I can think about is the deployment, and thats the last thing Blake wants to think about. I'm the type of person who needs to talk about something until I'm blue in the face, and that's not exactly Blake's style. He's a very stoic man, and while I know this is hard for him too, he just doesn't show it much.
We're learning to find the little positives in our situation. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds during the last deployment, and we are looking forward to that. Being apart for a year, adds depth and maturity to a relationship in a way no other experience can. You learn new things about your spouse, learn to let things go, and learn how to keep communication open in new ways. I have been able to appreciate Blake in a thousand new ways due to our previous deployment and to preparing for another deployment.
While this year seems like it's going to last forever, I know it's only a minuscule amount of time when compared to the rest of our lives. I'm ready to jump into this deployment, because there is no other way. You don't get to dip your toes into it to see if your ready to get in, you don't get to ease into, you just have to jump cannonball style into it. And that's what we are getting ready to do.
Top Ten Reasons He CAN Deploy
10. I might be able to have a sheet set for more than a month. I feel I need to explain. My husband has some sort of special ability to rip sheets. Somehow, in his sleep, he pulls the fitted sheet off and then when he goes to put it back on before he goes to bed, he rips it. In the corner. Two sheet sets in two months is more than enough.
9. Because I will have a 1000x less laundry to do. I'm not sure how he does it, but he goes through more clothes, towels, and anything else that needs to be washed than anyone I know.
8. I will get run of the TV. The hubs is addicted to the TV. If we go to a restaurant and there is a TV within eye-shot, he is watching it. When we're home, he's watching it. And typically not the shows I want to watch. We have our shows that we watch, but the rest of the time, we're watching food shows, car shows, and war shows. I have to say, a year break from those shows sounds pretty good to me.
7. The amount of clutter in my house will be significantly reduced. Blake and I have accumulated ALOT of clutter in our short 9 months of marriage, but OUR clutter does not even compare to HIS clutter. Or more specifically, ARMY clutter. They give him way too much stuff and it all ends in my spare bedroom. It looks like the Army puked in my spare bedroom.
6. There will be no toothpaste residue left in my sink. Enough said.
5. I will have entire run of the bed. See previous blog entry titled "Issues" for more information.
4. I get his phone. I hate my phone and I haven't even had it for a year. And because my husband is oh-so-wonderful, he is letting me use his cell phone. This is a wonderful thing because I can't express enough my hatred for my phone. And also because his has this cool coloring pad thing.
3. Because it means I get to mooch off my parents for a little while longer. I am spending the summer in Indiana to complete an externship, and it'll be fun to get to spend some time with my parents. Typically if you move back home when your married, it's not a good thing. But for a military wife, it's the GREATEST thing. There is no better place to be than with family when your husband is 7,800 miles away in a warzone.
2. A year without snoring doesn't sound too bad to me! I'm constantly hitting him or kicking him or telling him to roll over or attempting to suffocate him with the pillow (just kidding to the last one). He does not have a bad snore, but it's just this quiet, breathy snore that drives me INSANE when I am having trouble sleeping.
1. And lastly, because I will actually get homework done in advance. It seems like I never get anything done when he is around. He always has something he wants to do, places he wants to go, and I never get anything done. I'm always doing it at the last second. Now, I wont have any excuse to slack on homework.
9. Because I will have a 1000x less laundry to do. I'm not sure how he does it, but he goes through more clothes, towels, and anything else that needs to be washed than anyone I know.
8. I will get run of the TV. The hubs is addicted to the TV. If we go to a restaurant and there is a TV within eye-shot, he is watching it. When we're home, he's watching it. And typically not the shows I want to watch. We have our shows that we watch, but the rest of the time, we're watching food shows, car shows, and war shows. I have to say, a year break from those shows sounds pretty good to me.
7. The amount of clutter in my house will be significantly reduced. Blake and I have accumulated ALOT of clutter in our short 9 months of marriage, but OUR clutter does not even compare to HIS clutter. Or more specifically, ARMY clutter. They give him way too much stuff and it all ends in my spare bedroom. It looks like the Army puked in my spare bedroom.
6. There will be no toothpaste residue left in my sink. Enough said.
5. I will have entire run of the bed. See previous blog entry titled "Issues" for more information.
4. I get his phone. I hate my phone and I haven't even had it for a year. And because my husband is oh-so-wonderful, he is letting me use his cell phone. This is a wonderful thing because I can't express enough my hatred for my phone. And also because his has this cool coloring pad thing.
3. Because it means I get to mooch off my parents for a little while longer. I am spending the summer in Indiana to complete an externship, and it'll be fun to get to spend some time with my parents. Typically if you move back home when your married, it's not a good thing. But for a military wife, it's the GREATEST thing. There is no better place to be than with family when your husband is 7,800 miles away in a warzone.
2. A year without snoring doesn't sound too bad to me! I'm constantly hitting him or kicking him or telling him to roll over or attempting to suffocate him with the pillow (just kidding to the last one). He does not have a bad snore, but it's just this quiet, breathy snore that drives me INSANE when I am having trouble sleeping.
1. And lastly, because I will actually get homework done in advance. It seems like I never get anything done when he is around. He always has something he wants to do, places he wants to go, and I never get anything done. I'm always doing it at the last second. Now, I wont have any excuse to slack on homework.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Top Ten Reasons Why My Husband Can't Deploy
10. I'm not going to have a good reason to skip classes anymore.
9. Whining will not be the same when I'm the only one around to hear it. And according to Blake, I whine quite a bit :)
8. Who's going to spoil me?
7. I will be the only one here to clean my house. And that's not good for me... or the house.
6. I won't have anyone to blame for my messy house. And I refuse to admit that I'm the messy one in this relationship.
5. Who am I going to make fun of on a daily basis?
4. Every night I hear noises downstairs, and I am not qualified to go check them out. So this year will consist of me hiding under my covers thinking someone is outside of my bedroom door.
3. I lose everything, and I always find a way to blame it on him. Whether it's my debit card, keys, cell phones, or wedding set. And I refuse to admit that it's my fault.
2. The mail lady will hate me because I always forget to check the mail.
1. I'm actually going to have to be responsible for feeding myself-something else I am not qualified to do. I think I've cooked about 10 meals since I got married thanks to my chef of a husband. And I am fairly certain I will starve to death during this deployment.
9. Whining will not be the same when I'm the only one around to hear it. And according to Blake, I whine quite a bit :)
8. Who's going to spoil me?
7. I will be the only one here to clean my house. And that's not good for me... or the house.
6. I won't have anyone to blame for my messy house. And I refuse to admit that I'm the messy one in this relationship.
5. Who am I going to make fun of on a daily basis?
4. Every night I hear noises downstairs, and I am not qualified to go check them out. So this year will consist of me hiding under my covers thinking someone is outside of my bedroom door.
3. I lose everything, and I always find a way to blame it on him. Whether it's my debit card, keys, cell phones, or wedding set. And I refuse to admit that it's my fault.
2. The mail lady will hate me because I always forget to check the mail.
1. I'm actually going to have to be responsible for feeding myself-something else I am not qualified to do. I think I've cooked about 10 meals since I got married thanks to my chef of a husband. And I am fairly certain I will starve to death during this deployment.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Oops
Oh My! It has been a while. Life has picked up a lot in the past few weeks, and it seems like we have been running nonstop. My parent's visited last weekend, we made this date weekend, and I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get all of my homework assignments done. I feel like I've crammed a years worth of stuff into a week and a half.
And basically, I have. Blake deploys in 9 days. I've been trying to spend as much time together as possible and to do as much stuff as we can. I didn't think this deployment would sneak up on me like it has, but it sure did. It seems like just yesterday he came home and told me that he would be leaving in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, it's just a week and a few days away.
This deployment has taken it's toll on us and it hasn't even begun yet. My reaction to this one is drastically different than it was last time. During the first deployment, I sort of denied it was going to happen. It just felt like it would never come. Even the day of, I still felt like by some chance miracle, he wouldn't have to go. But that is not my approach this time. I know it's coming. I know he is leaving. There is nothing I can do (short of running him over with my car and I don't think he would appreciate that) that will stop him from leaving the United States in 9 days. Even though I'm not in denial this time, it doesn't mean I'm handling it much better.
I've been a bit difficult to live with lately. It seems like everything he does drives me insane. And when he drives me insane, I get cranky and whiny. Because I am cranky and whiny, Blake gets annoyed with me and doesn't want to spend time with me. Because he doesn't want to spend time with me, I declare (or yell) that he doesn't love me anymore and that he can leave for Afghanistan at any time. See the pattern. Not fun stuff.
I'm an emotional roller coaster, and the smallest thing can set me off. Take for example last Friday night. My parents were coming into town that night, and I needed to go grocery shopping. After I got off work, I headed straight to the commissary. Blake had taken in his Jeep to get fixed, and while he was waiting, he went golfing with the guys. He was supposed to meet me at the commissary, but the jeep wasn't ready on time and golfing took longer than expected and blah, blah, blah. Long story short, he didn't get home until 7:30 and by that time, I was extremely mad. And why was I so mad? Because he didn't go grocery shopping with me. It was our last grocery trip before he left, and for some insane reason, I really wanted him to go with me. On the drive home from shopping, I ended up yelling excessively at him over the phone and then crying hysterically the second I hung up.
I know I am going to be shopping by myself for twelve freaking months and all I wanted was one last trip together. All in all, I was just upset and sort of disappointed. Normally, I could articulate this with no problem, but with there is something about a deployment that makes me insane and unable to say what I feel. Truth be told, I feel like I'm trying to push him away. Trying to brace myself for the upcoming twelve months. And really, there's not much that can prepare me for this.
All I can do is pray, and then continue living my life. Even though it feels like my world is going to end when he steps on that plane, it won't. It didn't last time, and it won't th is time. I'll adapt, I'll figure it out, and then I'll stuff my face.
And basically, I have. Blake deploys in 9 days. I've been trying to spend as much time together as possible and to do as much stuff as we can. I didn't think this deployment would sneak up on me like it has, but it sure did. It seems like just yesterday he came home and told me that he would be leaving in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, it's just a week and a few days away.
This deployment has taken it's toll on us and it hasn't even begun yet. My reaction to this one is drastically different than it was last time. During the first deployment, I sort of denied it was going to happen. It just felt like it would never come. Even the day of, I still felt like by some chance miracle, he wouldn't have to go. But that is not my approach this time. I know it's coming. I know he is leaving. There is nothing I can do (short of running him over with my car and I don't think he would appreciate that) that will stop him from leaving the United States in 9 days. Even though I'm not in denial this time, it doesn't mean I'm handling it much better.
I've been a bit difficult to live with lately. It seems like everything he does drives me insane. And when he drives me insane, I get cranky and whiny. Because I am cranky and whiny, Blake gets annoyed with me and doesn't want to spend time with me. Because he doesn't want to spend time with me, I declare (or yell) that he doesn't love me anymore and that he can leave for Afghanistan at any time. See the pattern. Not fun stuff.
I'm an emotional roller coaster, and the smallest thing can set me off. Take for example last Friday night. My parents were coming into town that night, and I needed to go grocery shopping. After I got off work, I headed straight to the commissary. Blake had taken in his Jeep to get fixed, and while he was waiting, he went golfing with the guys. He was supposed to meet me at the commissary, but the jeep wasn't ready on time and golfing took longer than expected and blah, blah, blah. Long story short, he didn't get home until 7:30 and by that time, I was extremely mad. And why was I so mad? Because he didn't go grocery shopping with me. It was our last grocery trip before he left, and for some insane reason, I really wanted him to go with me. On the drive home from shopping, I ended up yelling excessively at him over the phone and then crying hysterically the second I hung up.
I know I am going to be shopping by myself for twelve freaking months and all I wanted was one last trip together. All in all, I was just upset and sort of disappointed. Normally, I could articulate this with no problem, but with there is something about a deployment that makes me insane and unable to say what I feel. Truth be told, I feel like I'm trying to push him away. Trying to brace myself for the upcoming twelve months. And really, there's not much that can prepare me for this.
All I can do is pray, and then continue living my life. Even though it feels like my world is going to end when he steps on that plane, it won't. It didn't last time, and it won't th is time. I'll adapt, I'll figure it out, and then I'll stuff my face.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Vacations
We have had an absolutely amazing weekend. We spent a few nights in a cabin in Gatliburg with another couple, DJ & Ginny. We got there on Friday, after a beautiful drive through the mountains, and got settled in.
And oh my gosh. Our cabin. It was amazing. It made me never want to leave. It was a two-story cabin that was absolutely beautiful. Our bedroom had floor to ceiling glass windows so every morning we woke up to a gorgeous view of the smoky mountains. I've spent my whole life living in flat ol' Indiana so I absolutely loved waking up to that view. Somehow it seems unfair even now that I'm living in Tennessee, I'm still in the mainly flat area of the state.
Moving on. The second we got there Blake realized he had forgot his shoes at our house. The only shoes he had were his tennis shoes, and they just wouldn't do. My husband is a bit...how to put it...fashion conscience. And heaven forbid, he wear jeans with tennis shoes. So on our first night in Gatliburg, we searched for a shoe store. We found one and he got new shoes so the crisis was averted.
We spent the rest of the night eating, laughing, go carting, and soaking in the hot tub. Turns out I am no go cart champ. I lost almost every freaking race. It was so unfair. I swear it was rigged. Every race, Blake and Ginny wound up with the fast cars while DJ and I were stuck puttering around the track. I think we ended up being lapped by them each race. It was ridiculous. When we got back to the cabin that night, we all hung out in the hot tub. We had so much fun talking and laughing. Then the next thing we knew it was 2 am and the fog was rolling in. They don't call it the smoky mountains for nothing. Before we knew it, the fog was so thick we couldn't see a foot out our windows.
The next morning, we headed into Gatlinburg to check out the town. There was so much to do. But I liked the shopping the most. I bet I could win an olympic medal in shopping. We found some great things for our house (not that I need more decorating items), and some neat sauces for Blake to experiment with while he cooks. But then he found something so gross & disgusting, I thought I was going to vomit. Bacon cheddar grasshoppers and mexican spice larva. AND HE BOUGHT THEM!!!! AND THEN HE ATE THEM!!!! I am pretty sure this is grounds for divorce. But moving on.
We spent the evening playing putt putt, eating, go carting, and lounging in the hot tub again. Turns out the people who stunk at go carting, rocked at putt putt so we got our revenge. And I even won two rounds out of five at go carting that night. So it was a great night. I love it when I beat my husband at something. Once again, it was a late night which wasn't a great idea since we had to check out at 10 am. I think we got 12 hours of sleep total the whole weekend, but it was worth it for all the fun we had.
Speaking of checking out, we got up at 9 am to clean, pack, and get out of the cabin. Normally I am the forgetful one, but not this time. We left the cabin with 8 minutes to spare and headed off to get some breakfast. As we're pulling into the restaurant parking lot, my husband asks me if I have his cell phone. I did not and neither did he. So back we go, and lo and behold there it is. Sitting on our bed just waiting for someone to grab it. Back we go to the restaurant. Once again, we pull into the parking lot and he asks me if I grabbed his tennis shoes. Nope I sure didn't. At this point I thought I was going to kill him. Lucky for him, he had remembered them and they were in the trunk. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to watch him for signs of Alzheimer's.
All the things we did on our trip were alot of fun, but the best part of the trip was that we got to get away. We didn't have to worry about work or school or bills or anything else. We were able to talk and focus on each other. It was just the kind of break we needed. Going home is fun and relaxing but now it just reminds me of how few of those trips we have before he leaves. I love living in Clarksville, but there are deployment reminders all around me. Getting away let us have time to each other. Time to remember why we love being married. It let us realize why we can make it through this deployment, and why it won't be that hard really. Love knows no distance. And we can make it through anything.
Sorry for that gushy moment. But I needed to get it out. I figure if I say it, it'll be true. Just kidding. Anyways, now we're off to go pick up Blake's phone. He left it at the Mexican restaurant we ate at last night. I'm starting to get a glimpse of our life in several years, and it does not look good. Hopefully, when we have kids, he won't lose them like he loses his cell phone.
And oh my gosh. Our cabin. It was amazing. It made me never want to leave. It was a two-story cabin that was absolutely beautiful. Our bedroom had floor to ceiling glass windows so every morning we woke up to a gorgeous view of the smoky mountains. I've spent my whole life living in flat ol' Indiana so I absolutely loved waking up to that view. Somehow it seems unfair even now that I'm living in Tennessee, I'm still in the mainly flat area of the state.
Moving on. The second we got there Blake realized he had forgot his shoes at our house. The only shoes he had were his tennis shoes, and they just wouldn't do. My husband is a bit...how to put it...fashion conscience. And heaven forbid, he wear jeans with tennis shoes. So on our first night in Gatliburg, we searched for a shoe store. We found one and he got new shoes so the crisis was averted.
We spent the rest of the night eating, laughing, go carting, and soaking in the hot tub. Turns out I am no go cart champ. I lost almost every freaking race. It was so unfair. I swear it was rigged. Every race, Blake and Ginny wound up with the fast cars while DJ and I were stuck puttering around the track. I think we ended up being lapped by them each race. It was ridiculous. When we got back to the cabin that night, we all hung out in the hot tub. We had so much fun talking and laughing. Then the next thing we knew it was 2 am and the fog was rolling in. They don't call it the smoky mountains for nothing. Before we knew it, the fog was so thick we couldn't see a foot out our windows.
The next morning, we headed into Gatlinburg to check out the town. There was so much to do. But I liked the shopping the most. I bet I could win an olympic medal in shopping. We found some great things for our house (not that I need more decorating items), and some neat sauces for Blake to experiment with while he cooks. But then he found something so gross & disgusting, I thought I was going to vomit. Bacon cheddar grasshoppers and mexican spice larva. AND HE BOUGHT THEM!!!! AND THEN HE ATE THEM!!!! I am pretty sure this is grounds for divorce. But moving on.
We spent the evening playing putt putt, eating, go carting, and lounging in the hot tub again. Turns out the people who stunk at go carting, rocked at putt putt so we got our revenge. And I even won two rounds out of five at go carting that night. So it was a great night. I love it when I beat my husband at something. Once again, it was a late night which wasn't a great idea since we had to check out at 10 am. I think we got 12 hours of sleep total the whole weekend, but it was worth it for all the fun we had.
Speaking of checking out, we got up at 9 am to clean, pack, and get out of the cabin. Normally I am the forgetful one, but not this time. We left the cabin with 8 minutes to spare and headed off to get some breakfast. As we're pulling into the restaurant parking lot, my husband asks me if I have his cell phone. I did not and neither did he. So back we go, and lo and behold there it is. Sitting on our bed just waiting for someone to grab it. Back we go to the restaurant. Once again, we pull into the parking lot and he asks me if I grabbed his tennis shoes. Nope I sure didn't. At this point I thought I was going to kill him. Lucky for him, he had remembered them and they were in the trunk. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to watch him for signs of Alzheimer's.
All the things we did on our trip were alot of fun, but the best part of the trip was that we got to get away. We didn't have to worry about work or school or bills or anything else. We were able to talk and focus on each other. It was just the kind of break we needed. Going home is fun and relaxing but now it just reminds me of how few of those trips we have before he leaves. I love living in Clarksville, but there are deployment reminders all around me. Getting away let us have time to each other. Time to remember why we love being married. It let us realize why we can make it through this deployment, and why it won't be that hard really. Love knows no distance. And we can make it through anything.
Sorry for that gushy moment. But I needed to get it out. I figure if I say it, it'll be true. Just kidding. Anyways, now we're off to go pick up Blake's phone. He left it at the Mexican restaurant we ate at last night. I'm starting to get a glimpse of our life in several years, and it does not look good. Hopefully, when we have kids, he won't lose them like he loses his cell phone.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Breakdowns
Wow-it's been a while. These past few weeks have been a little bit crazy. Blake and I are on vacation this week while my work is on Spring Break. We spent a few nights in Indiana with our families and our heading out in the morning for Gatlinburg with some friends. I've taken tests, done quizzes, and multiple projects and papers. This break is just what I needed. All with one exception. This is our last leave before he heads to Afghanistan.
It's freaking me out. It is too close. A copy of his orders are sitting on my coffee table, and in less than a month he will be 7,500 miles away. Getting ready for this deployment is much different than last time. Last time I was in complete denial. This time, I know it's coming. I know there is nothing I can do to stop it. All I can do is accept the fact, and spend as much time with him as possible.
But still. Even knowing this, there are moments where I just breakdown. I'm not an emotional person or a mushy one, but an impeding deployment makes you one of those mushy, emotional people whether you like it or not. I try to keep it together. Sometimes it's just not so easy.
And you have no idea when it is going to hit you. You could be sitting on the couch, laughing together and the next thing you know, you're ready to bawl your eyes out. Time is so fleeting, and it feels like everything we do is the last time we will get to do it. Everything becomes a sentimental moment-grocery shopping, brushing your teeth together, driving back home to Indiana, etc.
The truth is I'm scared. I'm not ready, and I never will be. There is never a good point in my life to take my husband to some far-away land for a year to 15 months and have people shoot at him. Everything about this scares me. I'm afraid we won't get to talk very often. I'm afraid our marriage is going to change because of it. I'm afraid he will come back different. I'm afraid of living by myself in Tennessee.
But there is no-one better qualified than my husband to help me through this. He is absolutely wonderful when I get to feeling this way. He reassures me and gets me back to my old self. And if it wasn't for him, I would not get out of bed and spend my day crying while I eat ice cream and watch sad, sappy love movies. So I'm thankful that I have him. And so is my body since I would be about 10x my size if I laid in bed and ate ice cream all day. So now I'm off to let him know how grateful I actually am to have him in my life. And if you have someone you love, you should let them know. It's not everyday we get the chance to tell them.
It's freaking me out. It is too close. A copy of his orders are sitting on my coffee table, and in less than a month he will be 7,500 miles away. Getting ready for this deployment is much different than last time. Last time I was in complete denial. This time, I know it's coming. I know there is nothing I can do to stop it. All I can do is accept the fact, and spend as much time with him as possible.
But still. Even knowing this, there are moments where I just breakdown. I'm not an emotional person or a mushy one, but an impeding deployment makes you one of those mushy, emotional people whether you like it or not. I try to keep it together. Sometimes it's just not so easy.
And you have no idea when it is going to hit you. You could be sitting on the couch, laughing together and the next thing you know, you're ready to bawl your eyes out. Time is so fleeting, and it feels like everything we do is the last time we will get to do it. Everything becomes a sentimental moment-grocery shopping, brushing your teeth together, driving back home to Indiana, etc.
The truth is I'm scared. I'm not ready, and I never will be. There is never a good point in my life to take my husband to some far-away land for a year to 15 months and have people shoot at him. Everything about this scares me. I'm afraid we won't get to talk very often. I'm afraid our marriage is going to change because of it. I'm afraid he will come back different. I'm afraid of living by myself in Tennessee.
But there is no-one better qualified than my husband to help me through this. He is absolutely wonderful when I get to feeling this way. He reassures me and gets me back to my old self. And if it wasn't for him, I would not get out of bed and spend my day crying while I eat ice cream and watch sad, sappy love movies. So I'm thankful that I have him. And so is my body since I would be about 10x my size if I laid in bed and ate ice cream all day. So now I'm off to let him know how grateful I actually am to have him in my life. And if you have someone you love, you should let them know. It's not everyday we get the chance to tell them.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Issues
Blake & I have adjusted quite well to being married. For the most part, we have navigated our way through marriage (at least the 8 months of it), and we have dealt with adjusting to living with the other person. Our one minor exception would be sleep.
Neither of us have ever had trouble sleeping until the day we said "I do." I believe the problem is really about sharing. Blake had free reign of our queen size bed for 8 months before we got married. And with the exception of college, I've always had either a full size or a queen size bed to myself. We liked it that way.
Now we have to share, and it's just not going well. I've always been a roamer when I sleep, and I've never been one to stay in one place. I move, switch sides, and at times I was known to flip ends and sleep at the bottom of the bed. Now I feel restricted. I can't move around, and it's killing me.
I have to stay in one place, and on top of that, he gets too close to me. I've never been claustrophobic, but I swear I'm developing it. If he crosses that invisible center line and gets too close to me, I feel like I'm going insane and that I might suffocate. And it drives him insane. Our nights consist of him falling asleep the second his head hits the pillow, and then me yelling at him and pushing him the second he moves.
We're at a standstill. Some couples dream of buying a house, getting a pet, and having children. At this point in our marriage, all we're dreaming of is buying a king size bed. It's either that or we're going to have to go back to the 50's and get our own separate beds. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.
The best part of my night happens at 5 am. When Blake has to get out of bed and leave for PT. I get the whole bed to myself. It reminds me of my better, single days. Just kidding-I love you hubs! But seriously, this is a problem. All these military wives talk about leaving their husband's side of the bed untouched when he deploys. I can't even leave his side of the bed untouched when he leaves for PT!
I guess I'm just not that kind of wife. I mean, I'm all about making the best out of each situation, even during a deployment. If making the best out of the deployment means that I get the whole bed, then so be it. I've got to enjoy something so might as well be sleep. After all, I've always enjoyed my sleep.
Neither of us have ever had trouble sleeping until the day we said "I do." I believe the problem is really about sharing. Blake had free reign of our queen size bed for 8 months before we got married. And with the exception of college, I've always had either a full size or a queen size bed to myself. We liked it that way.
Now we have to share, and it's just not going well. I've always been a roamer when I sleep, and I've never been one to stay in one place. I move, switch sides, and at times I was known to flip ends and sleep at the bottom of the bed. Now I feel restricted. I can't move around, and it's killing me.
I have to stay in one place, and on top of that, he gets too close to me. I've never been claustrophobic, but I swear I'm developing it. If he crosses that invisible center line and gets too close to me, I feel like I'm going insane and that I might suffocate. And it drives him insane. Our nights consist of him falling asleep the second his head hits the pillow, and then me yelling at him and pushing him the second he moves.
We're at a standstill. Some couples dream of buying a house, getting a pet, and having children. At this point in our marriage, all we're dreaming of is buying a king size bed. It's either that or we're going to have to go back to the 50's and get our own separate beds. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.
The best part of my night happens at 5 am. When Blake has to get out of bed and leave for PT. I get the whole bed to myself. It reminds me of my better, single days. Just kidding-I love you hubs! But seriously, this is a problem. All these military wives talk about leaving their husband's side of the bed untouched when he deploys. I can't even leave his side of the bed untouched when he leaves for PT!
I guess I'm just not that kind of wife. I mean, I'm all about making the best out of each situation, even during a deployment. If making the best out of the deployment means that I get the whole bed, then so be it. I've got to enjoy something so might as well be sleep. After all, I've always enjoyed my sleep.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Your family, My family, Our family
This weekend we packed up our bags and headed back to our hometown in Indiana to celebrate Blake's birthday and my brother's birthday. It was a great weekend filled with celebration, good food, and quality time with our families. However, every time we head back home it reminds me of how marriage how marriage changes things.
Our time has to be split equally between both families, and sometimes that can cause big problems. We have to make a game plan before we ever leave Clarksville. We decide where we're staying and on what nights, what we're going to do during the days, and how to keep things equal. And the weekend never seems to be long enough. On a typical trip back home, we get into town around 9 pm on Friday night and have to leave by 4 pm on Sunday afternoon. It always seems to be a whirlwind weekend.
For the most part, we have navigated this pretty well. Occasionally, one of us gets a little bit mad and we whine about how we never get to see our family and blah blah blah. But we always make it a priority to be as fair to each family as possible. We don't want either of us or our families to feel short-changed.
But this is all new to us and to our families. I remember when I was in college, and I would come home on the weekends. Those trips home were always so relaxing and refreshing. Majority of my friend had either moved out of town or were away at college, so I just spent time with my family. I didn't have to worry about splitting time or making sure I saw everyone enough. I loved coming home.
I still love coming home, but it is just different. It is still relaxing to get away from things, but at times, it's a bit stressful too. The most relaxing part of coming home was that I didn't have to think about things. There was no work to be done, no deadlines, I didn't have to worry about who I was going to go to dinner with, or who I was hanging out with and on which night. I just packed up my bags and headed off to do NOTHING. It's just not like that any more. We have to put thought into our weekends. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just different.
The great part about it is that this is not a bad problem to have. I mean we both love spending time with each other's families, and we have families who want to be with us too. Tragic, huh?
Our time has to be split equally between both families, and sometimes that can cause big problems. We have to make a game plan before we ever leave Clarksville. We decide where we're staying and on what nights, what we're going to do during the days, and how to keep things equal. And the weekend never seems to be long enough. On a typical trip back home, we get into town around 9 pm on Friday night and have to leave by 4 pm on Sunday afternoon. It always seems to be a whirlwind weekend.
For the most part, we have navigated this pretty well. Occasionally, one of us gets a little bit mad and we whine about how we never get to see our family and blah blah blah. But we always make it a priority to be as fair to each family as possible. We don't want either of us or our families to feel short-changed.
But this is all new to us and to our families. I remember when I was in college, and I would come home on the weekends. Those trips home were always so relaxing and refreshing. Majority of my friend had either moved out of town or were away at college, so I just spent time with my family. I didn't have to worry about splitting time or making sure I saw everyone enough. I loved coming home.
I still love coming home, but it is just different. It is still relaxing to get away from things, but at times, it's a bit stressful too. The most relaxing part of coming home was that I didn't have to think about things. There was no work to be done, no deadlines, I didn't have to worry about who I was going to go to dinner with, or who I was hanging out with and on which night. I just packed up my bags and headed off to do NOTHING. It's just not like that any more. We have to put thought into our weekends. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just different.
The great part about it is that this is not a bad problem to have. I mean we both love spending time with each other's families, and we have families who want to be with us too. Tragic, huh?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
April 20th
The Army through a curve ball at us today. They gave us a date. A date that will change our life for a little while. I knew it was coming, but it seemed like a much easier pill to swallow when I just had a time frame. April 20th. The day my Husband deploys for the second time.
We have been through this before. Last time it was so simple. I was in my junior-senior year of college, living with great friends, and only an hour away from my family. This time it is completely different. I'm now living in a city where I know just a handful of people outside of work, and I am 285 miles away from my family. I am much more dependent on Blake now than I have ever been before. And now they are taking him away from me. For a whole flippin' year!
Everything will be different this time. EVERYTHING. I'll have to do it all on my own: pay the bills, take out the trash, do the laundry, grocery shop, clean the house, get the mail, load AND unload the dishwasher, and just about anything else that comes along with keeping up a household. I'm not ready. Blake does more than his fair share of work around here. We've split up our chores fairly equally, and he's actually pretty good about keeping up his part of the deal. I'm not ready to have to do it all.
And then there's the food thing. Blake cooks for me. I get home around 9 at night on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights. Blake always has dinner ready for me. (He's actually a really great chef.) Now, I am going to have to be responsible for feeding myself. I have a feeling I'm either going to starve to death, or I'll live off a diet consisting of McDonalds.
We have been married for a little over 7 months, but now I feel like we are getting ready to go back to day 1 in our marriage. We'll have to learn how to make a marriage work when we're 7,000+ miles apart. Our first year of marriage has not been too difficult. The first few weeks were a bit rocky while we learned how to adjust to each other, but after we had worked out the kinks, we really started to enjoy being married. Now we have to learn how to do marriage again. We have to learn how to communicate, how to be independent and dependent at the same time, how to trust when you have no clue what is going on in your spouses life, and the list continues.
To be honest, I am not looking forward to this period in our life. I talked the other day about enjoying each period of our life, but I'm having a hard time imagining how I'm going to enjoy this part of our life. Blake and I have always been able to be flexible in our relationship. That is what kept us together through all the difficult times in our relationship. I have no doubt that we will adapt to this situation, but I am just scared. Change always brings around a little bit of fear, and I am no different.
I don't want things to change. I want Blake to stay here. I want to be able to celebrate our 1st anniversary together. I'm trying to see the positives in this situation though. We get a unique opportunity to see our marriage take on a new role. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds during his last deployment. I don't know if we would be where we are if it hadn't been for that last deployment. I got to watch Blake grow up, which is something he needed to do. We got engaged on his R&R, and decided to get married the following summer. That deployment shaped Blake into the man I was supposed to marry.
While I'm not to optimistic now, I know this deployment will change our marriage for the better. We will learn how to trust each other in a deeper way, our communication skills will be strengthened, and most importantly, we will learn how to truly appreciate each other. It's too easy to take someone for granted when they are standing right beside you. Relocate them to a war zone and you realize what you have and how blessed you are.
However, at this moment, I am not willing to accept these things. Right now, I just want to pout. I just want to be sad that I have to miss a year with my Husband. And that is OK. It's alright to be sad, to pout, to cry, and to be really mad about the situation. Sometimes you just need to be upset. But then, you need to get over it. Tomorrow I will get over it. I will accept the fact that life is changing for us. I will be positive about what is to come, and I will be grateful to have this opportunity to strengthen our marriage.
But not tonight. Tonight I need to be sad. Tonight I need to cuddle up with my Husband and whine. Tonight I need to be comforted. Because the truth is that I only have 6 weeks to be comforted. After that, it's just me. After that, I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But not yet. So I'm off to be a baby and to whine as much I can.
We have been through this before. Last time it was so simple. I was in my junior-senior year of college, living with great friends, and only an hour away from my family. This time it is completely different. I'm now living in a city where I know just a handful of people outside of work, and I am 285 miles away from my family. I am much more dependent on Blake now than I have ever been before. And now they are taking him away from me. For a whole flippin' year!
Everything will be different this time. EVERYTHING. I'll have to do it all on my own: pay the bills, take out the trash, do the laundry, grocery shop, clean the house, get the mail, load AND unload the dishwasher, and just about anything else that comes along with keeping up a household. I'm not ready. Blake does more than his fair share of work around here. We've split up our chores fairly equally, and he's actually pretty good about keeping up his part of the deal. I'm not ready to have to do it all.
And then there's the food thing. Blake cooks for me. I get home around 9 at night on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights. Blake always has dinner ready for me. (He's actually a really great chef.) Now, I am going to have to be responsible for feeding myself. I have a feeling I'm either going to starve to death, or I'll live off a diet consisting of McDonalds.
We have been married for a little over 7 months, but now I feel like we are getting ready to go back to day 1 in our marriage. We'll have to learn how to make a marriage work when we're 7,000+ miles apart. Our first year of marriage has not been too difficult. The first few weeks were a bit rocky while we learned how to adjust to each other, but after we had worked out the kinks, we really started to enjoy being married. Now we have to learn how to do marriage again. We have to learn how to communicate, how to be independent and dependent at the same time, how to trust when you have no clue what is going on in your spouses life, and the list continues.
To be honest, I am not looking forward to this period in our life. I talked the other day about enjoying each period of our life, but I'm having a hard time imagining how I'm going to enjoy this part of our life. Blake and I have always been able to be flexible in our relationship. That is what kept us together through all the difficult times in our relationship. I have no doubt that we will adapt to this situation, but I am just scared. Change always brings around a little bit of fear, and I am no different.
I don't want things to change. I want Blake to stay here. I want to be able to celebrate our 1st anniversary together. I'm trying to see the positives in this situation though. We get a unique opportunity to see our marriage take on a new role. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds during his last deployment. I don't know if we would be where we are if it hadn't been for that last deployment. I got to watch Blake grow up, which is something he needed to do. We got engaged on his R&R, and decided to get married the following summer. That deployment shaped Blake into the man I was supposed to marry.
While I'm not to optimistic now, I know this deployment will change our marriage for the better. We will learn how to trust each other in a deeper way, our communication skills will be strengthened, and most importantly, we will learn how to truly appreciate each other. It's too easy to take someone for granted when they are standing right beside you. Relocate them to a war zone and you realize what you have and how blessed you are.
However, at this moment, I am not willing to accept these things. Right now, I just want to pout. I just want to be sad that I have to miss a year with my Husband. And that is OK. It's alright to be sad, to pout, to cry, and to be really mad about the situation. Sometimes you just need to be upset. But then, you need to get over it. Tomorrow I will get over it. I will accept the fact that life is changing for us. I will be positive about what is to come, and I will be grateful to have this opportunity to strengthen our marriage.
But not tonight. Tonight I need to be sad. Tonight I need to cuddle up with my Husband and whine. Tonight I need to be comforted. Because the truth is that I only have 6 weeks to be comforted. After that, it's just me. After that, I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But not yet. So I'm off to be a baby and to whine as much I can.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Dinner's Ready!
Oh my! I don't think I have ever had more epic fails in the kitchen than I did this week. It was bad...real bad. I'm talking doors and windows open, smoke alarm going off, and a smog-filled kitchen (as my Husband so lovingly described it).
It all started when the Pioneer Woman (see http://thepioneerwoman.com to see what I'm talking about) introduced me to a recipe that looked to delicious to resist. They were onion strings. I love these things, and the idea that I could actually make them made my heart skip a few beats. I would no longer have to wait until my Husband took me out to get these delicious treats.
I don't have a fry daddy, because we try to avoid anything fried but that was no biggie. The recipe said that I didn't need one, I just could make my own using a pot and some oil. But there was one item I was missing...a candy thermometer. You see, you were supposed to be monitoring the temperature of the oil so it didn't get to hot. That is where I got a bit cocky. I thought it was no big deal-I could just monitor it on my own and "guess" at them temperature.
So I made the delicious little things. I made my own buttermilk, sliced my onions with the greatest food processor on the planet, and created a beautiful flour coating. Once the onions were coated in the flour, it was showtime. I dunked them in the hot oil waiting to see the flour turn to golden, crunchy perfection. That is not what happened.
They immediately turned black. I mean the blackest black you have ever seen. And the smoke. Oh my gosh the smoke. It was everywhere. Oh boy was it thick too. My eyes were watering, my Husband was heckling me, and I was just upset that I wasn't going to get any onion strings. Every window and every door was wide open. The fans were turned on high, and we had to literally fan the smoke out of our apartment.
I not only set off the downstairs alarm, but the upstairs alarm as well. Good thing we have a townhome or our upstairs neighbors would have been evacuating as well. It was bad. So bad. To make matters worse, I didn't stop there. I decided to try another recipe. It was just a fail. Not an epic fail like this one. But this is enough confessions for today. I'll leave my next failure for another day. Moral of the story: If they say you need a candy thermometer, just believe them.
It all started when the Pioneer Woman (see http://thepioneerwoman.com to see what I'm talking about) introduced me to a recipe that looked to delicious to resist. They were onion strings. I love these things, and the idea that I could actually make them made my heart skip a few beats. I would no longer have to wait until my Husband took me out to get these delicious treats.
I don't have a fry daddy, because we try to avoid anything fried but that was no biggie. The recipe said that I didn't need one, I just could make my own using a pot and some oil. But there was one item I was missing...a candy thermometer. You see, you were supposed to be monitoring the temperature of the oil so it didn't get to hot. That is where I got a bit cocky. I thought it was no big deal-I could just monitor it on my own and "guess" at them temperature.
So I made the delicious little things. I made my own buttermilk, sliced my onions with the greatest food processor on the planet, and created a beautiful flour coating. Once the onions were coated in the flour, it was showtime. I dunked them in the hot oil waiting to see the flour turn to golden, crunchy perfection. That is not what happened.
They immediately turned black. I mean the blackest black you have ever seen. And the smoke. Oh my gosh the smoke. It was everywhere. Oh boy was it thick too. My eyes were watering, my Husband was heckling me, and I was just upset that I wasn't going to get any onion strings. Every window and every door was wide open. The fans were turned on high, and we had to literally fan the smoke out of our apartment.
I not only set off the downstairs alarm, but the upstairs alarm as well. Good thing we have a townhome or our upstairs neighbors would have been evacuating as well. It was bad. So bad. To make matters worse, I didn't stop there. I decided to try another recipe. It was just a fail. Not an epic fail like this one. But this is enough confessions for today. I'll leave my next failure for another day. Moral of the story: If they say you need a candy thermometer, just believe them.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Ch-Ch-Changes
My brother and I were talking earlier, and he told me about a text he found on an old phone of his. This text was a great find. Not necessarily because of the content, but because of the sender. We both lost a great friend about 2 1/2 years ago, and the text was from him.
I have to admit, I was a little jealous of him. Every time I find one of my old phones, that is the first thing I look for. But of course, I always had my texts transferred to my new phone so they are always deleted. We got to talking about how finding something as small as a text can make you start thinking about the past.
The last time I got a text from him was 6 days before the wreck. I still remember the words exactly. I have them written down so I'll never forget them. Unfortunately, the text isn't on my phone anymore, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.
Life has changed drastically in the last 2-3 years. That isn't a long time, but everything has changed. Nothing has stayed the same. And that is how life is supposed to be. It doesn't mean we can't look back and think about how great that time was. I think we, as Americans, are too focused on what is coming next. We need to be more present in the present, because it will all change too fast. And we can never go back.
I know I am guilty of it too. I'm constantly thinking about getting through this week, waiting on the next payday, wishing for December (when I'm done with my Masters), and just not living in the moment. Don't get me wrong, I think planning is a great thing, but I just think we need to take more time to cherish the moments we have.
No-one is guaranteed tomorrow. Life can change in a split second. It was just three years ago that I was a sophomore in college, running around with my best friends at college, having the time of my life, and completely oblivious to the fact that my life would be greatly altered in 8 months.
We can't live our lives in the past. That does us no good. No matter how much we wish we could have changed things, we can't. All we can do is learn our lesson. Learn to live more fully and to enjoy every minute we have with our loved ones.
So that is my New Year's Resolution (even though I'm only about three months behind). To be more present, to stop putting things off until next week, and to just enjoy my life now. Because this phase in my life is fleeting, just like all the other phases. And I want to enjoy it. I don't want it to pass me by. It's time to slow down, and just realize that life is good.
I have to admit, I was a little jealous of him. Every time I find one of my old phones, that is the first thing I look for. But of course, I always had my texts transferred to my new phone so they are always deleted. We got to talking about how finding something as small as a text can make you start thinking about the past.
The last time I got a text from him was 6 days before the wreck. I still remember the words exactly. I have them written down so I'll never forget them. Unfortunately, the text isn't on my phone anymore, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.
Life has changed drastically in the last 2-3 years. That isn't a long time, but everything has changed. Nothing has stayed the same. And that is how life is supposed to be. It doesn't mean we can't look back and think about how great that time was. I think we, as Americans, are too focused on what is coming next. We need to be more present in the present, because it will all change too fast. And we can never go back.
I know I am guilty of it too. I'm constantly thinking about getting through this week, waiting on the next payday, wishing for December (when I'm done with my Masters), and just not living in the moment. Don't get me wrong, I think planning is a great thing, but I just think we need to take more time to cherish the moments we have.
No-one is guaranteed tomorrow. Life can change in a split second. It was just three years ago that I was a sophomore in college, running around with my best friends at college, having the time of my life, and completely oblivious to the fact that my life would be greatly altered in 8 months.
We can't live our lives in the past. That does us no good. No matter how much we wish we could have changed things, we can't. All we can do is learn our lesson. Learn to live more fully and to enjoy every minute we have with our loved ones.
So that is my New Year's Resolution (even though I'm only about three months behind). To be more present, to stop putting things off until next week, and to just enjoy my life now. Because this phase in my life is fleeting, just like all the other phases. And I want to enjoy it. I don't want it to pass me by. It's time to slow down, and just realize that life is good.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
How my Husband and Father are alike
I've always heard people say that girls marry guys that are like their father. I remember thinking that was a bunch of bologna. Blake was the farthest thing from my Dad, I thought. Then I married him, and I swear he changed. It was like living with my Dad all over again. Slowly, my Mom caught onto this as well. I thought I'd share with all of you how my Husband and Father are alike.
Number 1. They sing. All the time. I'm not talking normal, radio songs either. These are songs that they've made up on their own. For example, my Dad is constantly singing a song he calls "Rocky Doodle." It's about my dog Rocky, and no joke, I used to hear it about 4x a day. My Husband isn't quite so clever. He just takes radio-songs and changes the lyrics to fit whatever the situation may be. He sings his creations constantly.
Number 2. They likes to pick on me. Matter of fact, a little less than a month into our marriage, he said to me, "You haven't had a molly-whoopin' in a while have you?" (translation molly-whoopin'=picked on/worked over/etc) I've lived my entire life hearing a this similar version from my Dad: "You need to be worked over, don't ya?" The day my Husband said this to me, I could have cried. I thought my days of being picked on were done. I was wrong.
Number 3. They take the looooong way. I've lived my entire life going on vacations with my Dad. Inevitably, we would end up passing an exit, turn the wrong way, or just straight end up lost. After we realized we had messed up, my Dad would drive 5 miles before he would turn around. It drove me insane. On our honeymoon, my Husband did the same thing. Once again, I could have cried. To get from Point A to Point B, they go to Point C first. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a man thing.
Number 4. They talk in strange voices. Everytime I call home, if my Dad answers the phone, it is always in this strange pseudo-Chinese accent. Blake imitates the Tyler Perry character called Madea. I can't even describe it. Needless to say, I already feel sorry for my unborn children.
Number 5. They don't like displays of emotions. Especially crying. My Mom and I are both big saps, and for the majority of my life, we have watched movies while being heckled by my Dad for crying. He will wait and watch for it. And if you cry, be prepared to get mocked. My Husband is the exact same. Lately when we watch movies, if it's a really sad or sweet part, I've noticed that he stops and looks at me. Just to see if I'm going to cry! If I am, he laughs...hysterically. Jerks.
I think I'm doomed. I can't believe I fell into this trap. I still have no clue how this happened. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever actually left home. Dear Lord, please save me.
Number 1. They sing. All the time. I'm not talking normal, radio songs either. These are songs that they've made up on their own. For example, my Dad is constantly singing a song he calls "Rocky Doodle." It's about my dog Rocky, and no joke, I used to hear it about 4x a day. My Husband isn't quite so clever. He just takes radio-songs and changes the lyrics to fit whatever the situation may be. He sings his creations constantly.
Number 2. They likes to pick on me. Matter of fact, a little less than a month into our marriage, he said to me, "You haven't had a molly-whoopin' in a while have you?" (translation molly-whoopin'=picked on/worked over/etc) I've lived my entire life hearing a this similar version from my Dad: "You need to be worked over, don't ya?" The day my Husband said this to me, I could have cried. I thought my days of being picked on were done. I was wrong.
Number 3. They take the looooong way. I've lived my entire life going on vacations with my Dad. Inevitably, we would end up passing an exit, turn the wrong way, or just straight end up lost. After we realized we had messed up, my Dad would drive 5 miles before he would turn around. It drove me insane. On our honeymoon, my Husband did the same thing. Once again, I could have cried. To get from Point A to Point B, they go to Point C first. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a man thing.
Number 4. They talk in strange voices. Everytime I call home, if my Dad answers the phone, it is always in this strange pseudo-Chinese accent. Blake imitates the Tyler Perry character called Madea. I can't even describe it. Needless to say, I already feel sorry for my unborn children.
Number 5. They don't like displays of emotions. Especially crying. My Mom and I are both big saps, and for the majority of my life, we have watched movies while being heckled by my Dad for crying. He will wait and watch for it. And if you cry, be prepared to get mocked. My Husband is the exact same. Lately when we watch movies, if it's a really sad or sweet part, I've noticed that he stops and looks at me. Just to see if I'm going to cry! If I am, he laughs...hysterically. Jerks.
I think I'm doomed. I can't believe I fell into this trap. I still have no clue how this happened. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever actually left home. Dear Lord, please save me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
What I've learned so far
I've been married for a little over 6 months now. I am no expert, but I have learned a lot in those months. I've learned that marriage can bring out the best and the worst in yourself and in your spouse. Hopefully, you see the best more than you see the worst.
I've also learned that on some days, it is the best thing in the world. Then, the next day, you want to kill them. Yesterday, I experienced the latter. I wanted to strangle my husband. It didn't matter what he did, what he said, or if he just left me alone. I just wanted to kill him.
Once again, I know this goes back to my plate being a little too full. I had a test to complete, paper to write, a computer that wasn't cooperating, journal abstracts to complete, and research that needed to be done. And then, he lost his wallet. You would have thought the world was going to end. I'm neck deep in work, and all he can do is yell at me to help him find it. I checked our bank online and knew that no-one had it so I wasn't too concerned. But the world was ending. At least he thought so.
So I helped out. Mainly because I knew the quicker he found it, the quicker he could get out of my hair. Lo and behold it had fallen off the table into my work bag so crisis was averted. At least that crisis. By that time, my desire to kill him had increased. I had lost 30 valuable minutes of work time, and now I was off-task. Once I get side-tracked, it is hard for me to get back into the work mode. But he wasn't concerned about that.
Men and women think differently. I truly believe that they are from different planets. All he could focus on was that he could not find his wallet. Me on the other hand, all I was worried about was finishing my work and making sure no-one was using our checking account. No-one was so I was good to go back to work. I don't make him search frantically when I lose my keys or cell phone for the hundredth time. Just a difference in gender. And brain capacities. Just kidding.
I believe marriage is a wonderful thing even if your not crazy-in-love everyday. Hollywood love is just that. Hollywood. Not real. It's important to know that when you enter a relationship, and especially marriage. Life isn't roses and candlelight dinners all the time. It's about sharing chores, driving each other bonkers, compromise, and learning how to love each other through the rough times. Love isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
If it was just a feeling, everyone would end up divorced. Feelings come and go. Marriage is supposed to be forever. That's the goal. That's the choice we make everyday. So instead of killing my husband, I choose to love him. I choose to move past the little annoyances. Because I know that I would want him to do the same thing.
I've also learned that on some days, it is the best thing in the world. Then, the next day, you want to kill them. Yesterday, I experienced the latter. I wanted to strangle my husband. It didn't matter what he did, what he said, or if he just left me alone. I just wanted to kill him.
Once again, I know this goes back to my plate being a little too full. I had a test to complete, paper to write, a computer that wasn't cooperating, journal abstracts to complete, and research that needed to be done. And then, he lost his wallet. You would have thought the world was going to end. I'm neck deep in work, and all he can do is yell at me to help him find it. I checked our bank online and knew that no-one had it so I wasn't too concerned. But the world was ending. At least he thought so.
So I helped out. Mainly because I knew the quicker he found it, the quicker he could get out of my hair. Lo and behold it had fallen off the table into my work bag so crisis was averted. At least that crisis. By that time, my desire to kill him had increased. I had lost 30 valuable minutes of work time, and now I was off-task. Once I get side-tracked, it is hard for me to get back into the work mode. But he wasn't concerned about that.
Men and women think differently. I truly believe that they are from different planets. All he could focus on was that he could not find his wallet. Me on the other hand, all I was worried about was finishing my work and making sure no-one was using our checking account. No-one was so I was good to go back to work. I don't make him search frantically when I lose my keys or cell phone for the hundredth time. Just a difference in gender. And brain capacities. Just kidding.
I believe marriage is a wonderful thing even if your not crazy-in-love everyday. Hollywood love is just that. Hollywood. Not real. It's important to know that when you enter a relationship, and especially marriage. Life isn't roses and candlelight dinners all the time. It's about sharing chores, driving each other bonkers, compromise, and learning how to love each other through the rough times. Love isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
If it was just a feeling, everyone would end up divorced. Feelings come and go. Marriage is supposed to be forever. That's the goal. That's the choice we make everyday. So instead of killing my husband, I choose to love him. I choose to move past the little annoyances. Because I know that I would want him to do the same thing.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Grr...Children...
I don't know what it is, but for some reason, children cannot handle snow days. When school finally starts back up, they seem to have forgotten all their senses. ALL OF THEM. It's like they forgot how to behave.
I work 3 days a week at an elementary school as a speech therapist. I haven't worked a full week since mid-January. Between snow days, professional development conferences, and countless IEP meetings, therapy has been hit or miss. On Friday, I headed back into work for a full day of work. And by noon, I was ready to either kick some children or drink heavily. Yes, it was that bad.
I had kids crawling on the ground, whining because we weren't playing the game they wanted, and being flat out brats. There is nothing I can't stand more than a bratty, disrespectful child. Needless to say, I yelled...ALOT...and sent kids back to their rooms. It was a rock and cry kind of day.
I have never been more happy to leave that parking lot. When I got home, the hubs recognized the stress that was written all over my face and decided we needed to go out and have some fun. So we headed out last night for some good music, time with good friends, and to forget about our day! It worked wonders. Now, I'm actually considering going back on Monday...maybe.
Sometimes, no matter how much you love your job, work just...for lack of a better word...sucks. Especially right now for me. It seems to take a whole lot less to make me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for the next 3 months. I have way too many assignments due, drive about 7.5 hours each week for grad school, and have to sit in class for 8 hours. Time. There is just not enough of it available.
I was talking to a friend from school, and she feels the same way. She pointed out a very important fact...it will all be over soon. What a relief. I graduate in 10 months, and its a good thing, because otherwise I would probably quit. Its not years, just months. And months seems to be manageable. Now if only I could get the kids to cooperate.
And if they don't, Lord help them. Because they will have one crazed-speech therapist on their hands. And thats not good for anyone.
I work 3 days a week at an elementary school as a speech therapist. I haven't worked a full week since mid-January. Between snow days, professional development conferences, and countless IEP meetings, therapy has been hit or miss. On Friday, I headed back into work for a full day of work. And by noon, I was ready to either kick some children or drink heavily. Yes, it was that bad.
I had kids crawling on the ground, whining because we weren't playing the game they wanted, and being flat out brats. There is nothing I can't stand more than a bratty, disrespectful child. Needless to say, I yelled...ALOT...and sent kids back to their rooms. It was a rock and cry kind of day.
I have never been more happy to leave that parking lot. When I got home, the hubs recognized the stress that was written all over my face and decided we needed to go out and have some fun. So we headed out last night for some good music, time with good friends, and to forget about our day! It worked wonders. Now, I'm actually considering going back on Monday...maybe.
Sometimes, no matter how much you love your job, work just...for lack of a better word...sucks. Especially right now for me. It seems to take a whole lot less to make me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for the next 3 months. I have way too many assignments due, drive about 7.5 hours each week for grad school, and have to sit in class for 8 hours. Time. There is just not enough of it available.
I was talking to a friend from school, and she feels the same way. She pointed out a very important fact...it will all be over soon. What a relief. I graduate in 10 months, and its a good thing, because otherwise I would probably quit. Its not years, just months. And months seems to be manageable. Now if only I could get the kids to cooperate.
And if they don't, Lord help them. Because they will have one crazed-speech therapist on their hands. And thats not good for anyone.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Valentine's Day
Chocolate, roses, champagne, cards, and hearts can only mean one thing. It's Valentine's Day! Normally I am not a fan of Valentine's Day. I don't like roses, I eat way too much chocolates, and it takes forever to get into a restaurant. But not this year. This year, I love it. For one-my Husband is home, and two-he planned the perfect Valentine's ever.
Blake planned for us to stay downtown Nashville for a night and made reservations at a wonderful restaurant. We left all our stress behind and headed out for a wonderful weekend. We spent Saturday relaxing and enjoying each others' company. We got to get dressed up and spend two hours eating by candlelight. Something completely out of the ordinary, but wonderful.
I work three days a week, am a full-time graduate student, and have to find time to get homework done, do laundry, clean the house, shower, and sleep. My life is a bit stressful to say the least. Blake and I may live together, but we don't get to spend a lot of good, quality time together. This adds loads of stress when there is a deployment around the corner. You want to cherish every second together, and you are very aware of the fact that there are just not enough seconds to get everything done.
Thats why this weekend was so wonderful. It allowed us to forget about everything: deployments, military life, grad school, work, chores. We were able to talk about anything and everything, and to be honest, it felt like we were just dating again. It was completely and totally refreshing. I know feel like I can face everything that is coming in the next few months.
Sometimes you just need to get away. Even if it means just going 45 minutes away.
Blake planned for us to stay downtown Nashville for a night and made reservations at a wonderful restaurant. We left all our stress behind and headed out for a wonderful weekend. We spent Saturday relaxing and enjoying each others' company. We got to get dressed up and spend two hours eating by candlelight. Something completely out of the ordinary, but wonderful.
I work three days a week, am a full-time graduate student, and have to find time to get homework done, do laundry, clean the house, shower, and sleep. My life is a bit stressful to say the least. Blake and I may live together, but we don't get to spend a lot of good, quality time together. This adds loads of stress when there is a deployment around the corner. You want to cherish every second together, and you are very aware of the fact that there are just not enough seconds to get everything done.
Thats why this weekend was so wonderful. It allowed us to forget about everything: deployments, military life, grad school, work, chores. We were able to talk about anything and everything, and to be honest, it felt like we were just dating again. It was completely and totally refreshing. I know feel like I can face everything that is coming in the next few months.
Sometimes you just need to get away. Even if it means just going 45 minutes away.
Friday, February 12, 2010
And reality hits
These past couple of days have been...quite interesting to say the least. We are officially into the "pre-deployment" days. Blake is packing his bags and shipping containers to Afghanistan so they will be there when he arrives in a few, all-to-short months. While we still do not know an exact date, we know it will come around the end of April-beginning of May mark. And. I. Am. Not. Ready. I repeat. NOT. READY. AT. ALL.
The other day we got a card in the mail about life insurance. On him. Not me. At first I just set it down and didn't think too much about it. Then he began packing. And it hit me. Is this something we need? Am I seriously thinking about getting extra life insurance on my 22-year-old husband?
Unfortunately, I know all to well how fragile life is. My best friend died in a car wreck on a road he drove almost daily. While my now-husband was fighting a war in Iraq. It doesn't really matter where you are. However, a pending deployment to the Afghanistan-Pakistan border kind of makes you think twice about how fragile life really is.
And I hate it. I hate having to even entertain that thought. My husband is 22. He has children that he needs to make, family vacations to take, and anniversaries to celebrate. I hate deployments. I hate this point in the deployment process. I hate having to mentally prepare myself to be alone for a year, to figure out how to keep communication open when we're 7,000 miles apart, and mostly, I hate seeing him pack. Because packing always leads to leaving. And the only thing I hate more than packing is leaving. Goodbyes are not fun. Especially not deployment goodbyes.
And I hate thinking about the "what-if." What-ifs can ruin your life. However, they are necessary at times like this. These conversations about wills, life insurance, and funeral plans are, unfortunately, necessary. To be a military wife, you have to know how to prepare. And sadly, you have to be prepared for every possible situation. So how do you do it? You suck it up, tuck away your emotions, and have the conversation (without having a crazy emotional breakdown). And then you pray. Pray that you never, ever have to use that knowledge.
And for me? I hold onto-Eat, Sleep, and Breathe-Jeremiah 29:11. God has worked through us and our marriage to make us better people. He has given us blessings beyond compare and I know-I believe-that he is not done yet.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The other day we got a card in the mail about life insurance. On him. Not me. At first I just set it down and didn't think too much about it. Then he began packing. And it hit me. Is this something we need? Am I seriously thinking about getting extra life insurance on my 22-year-old husband?
Unfortunately, I know all to well how fragile life is. My best friend died in a car wreck on a road he drove almost daily. While my now-husband was fighting a war in Iraq. It doesn't really matter where you are. However, a pending deployment to the Afghanistan-Pakistan border kind of makes you think twice about how fragile life really is.
And I hate it. I hate having to even entertain that thought. My husband is 22. He has children that he needs to make, family vacations to take, and anniversaries to celebrate. I hate deployments. I hate this point in the deployment process. I hate having to mentally prepare myself to be alone for a year, to figure out how to keep communication open when we're 7,000 miles apart, and mostly, I hate seeing him pack. Because packing always leads to leaving. And the only thing I hate more than packing is leaving. Goodbyes are not fun. Especially not deployment goodbyes.
And I hate thinking about the "what-if." What-ifs can ruin your life. However, they are necessary at times like this. These conversations about wills, life insurance, and funeral plans are, unfortunately, necessary. To be a military wife, you have to know how to prepare. And sadly, you have to be prepared for every possible situation. So how do you do it? You suck it up, tuck away your emotions, and have the conversation (without having a crazy emotional breakdown). And then you pray. Pray that you never, ever have to use that knowledge.
And for me? I hold onto-Eat, Sleep, and Breathe-Jeremiah 29:11. God has worked through us and our marriage to make us better people. He has given us blessings beyond compare and I know-I believe-that he is not done yet.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
THE question
On Monday night, Blake and I headed to Nashville to have dinner with his Uncle Chris. Chris lives in Montana, and we haven't seen him for about two years so we were excited that he was in town. Within five minutes of our meeting, Chris asked THE question. The one I have known was going to come eventually, but I always expected it to come after graduation and the deployment. So what was the question? "When are you guys going to start giving us some babies?"
Oh my. We are not ready to start thinking about this. At least I'm not. Blake on the other hand would be quite content to have a child running around right now. But that's because he doesn't have to carry the thing around for 9 months and endure labor. I've heard stories, and I am in no way ready for that.
For as long as I can remember, the one thing I've always wanted to be is a Mom. I love babies. The way they smell, how they fall asleep in your arms, how good it feels when you can make them stop crying, and most importantly, buying things for them. I love to shop anyways, but shopping for a baby is just so much more fun.
So would I love to be a Mom? Yes. Would I love it right now? No. Truth of the matter is that I love just being married. I love being able to do whatever we want, whenever we want it. And on top of that we've got to many things to accomplish before we even begin to think of parenthood. So here is our list. Our list of things that need to be accomplished before we have children.
1. I need to graduate with my M.S.
2. Blake needs to become an N.C.O. (non-commissioned officer), or go to warrant officer school.
3. Travel to Europe.
4. Travel to the Caribbean.
5. Become Jessica Montgomery, SLP-CCC M.S. (which happens after I complete my clinical fellowship after graduation and takes approximately 9 months).
6. Be living in a house, rented or owned, I'm not picky. I do not want to be the annoying neighbors who have a baby crying at all hours of the night.
7. Have a full-time job, with great benefits and great co-workers. That way I'll have good baby showers. Haha-just kidding.
8. Be close to moving back to Indiana. I need free babysitters.
9. Win the lottery. Because I want to be a stay-at-home Mommy. Or start a photography business, or get a book deal.
10. Have a good portion of my student loans paid off.
So there you have it. All the things I/we need to accomplish before there is a Jessica Jr. running around-and yes our first born will be a girl despite what Blake says.
Oh my. We are not ready to start thinking about this. At least I'm not. Blake on the other hand would be quite content to have a child running around right now. But that's because he doesn't have to carry the thing around for 9 months and endure labor. I've heard stories, and I am in no way ready for that.
For as long as I can remember, the one thing I've always wanted to be is a Mom. I love babies. The way they smell, how they fall asleep in your arms, how good it feels when you can make them stop crying, and most importantly, buying things for them. I love to shop anyways, but shopping for a baby is just so much more fun.
So would I love to be a Mom? Yes. Would I love it right now? No. Truth of the matter is that I love just being married. I love being able to do whatever we want, whenever we want it. And on top of that we've got to many things to accomplish before we even begin to think of parenthood. So here is our list. Our list of things that need to be accomplished before we have children.
1. I need to graduate with my M.S.
2. Blake needs to become an N.C.O. (non-commissioned officer), or go to warrant officer school.
3. Travel to Europe.
4. Travel to the Caribbean.
5. Become Jessica Montgomery, SLP-CCC M.S. (which happens after I complete my clinical fellowship after graduation and takes approximately 9 months).
6. Be living in a house, rented or owned, I'm not picky. I do not want to be the annoying neighbors who have a baby crying at all hours of the night.
7. Have a full-time job, with great benefits and great co-workers. That way I'll have good baby showers. Haha-just kidding.
8. Be close to moving back to Indiana. I need free babysitters.
9. Win the lottery. Because I want to be a stay-at-home Mommy. Or start a photography business, or get a book deal.
10. Have a good portion of my student loans paid off.
So there you have it. All the things I/we need to accomplish before there is a Jessica Jr. running around-and yes our first born will be a girl despite what Blake says.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
How Superbowl is like Christianity
On our way to church.
Blake: "I wonder if they are going to talk about football today."
Me: "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"
Blake: "Well it's Superbowl Sunday and you know, it's a good metaphor for Christianity. You know, there are two teams-Heaven and Hell, but instead of fighting one day a year, they fight every day."
So there you have. Faith a la my husband.
Blake: "I wonder if they are going to talk about football today."
Me: "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"
Blake: "Well it's Superbowl Sunday and you know, it's a good metaphor for Christianity. You know, there are two teams-Heaven and Hell, but instead of fighting one day a year, they fight every day."
So there you have. Faith a la my husband.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
What's life without a little bit of spoiling?
My poor Husband. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. I am spoiled. Beyond belief. I was the first girl grandchild on my Mom's side, and all my other cousins on my Dad's side are at least 10 years older than me if not more. So it's been this way since birth. And I love it. Needless to say, I am use to getting my way.
I have been dying to buy a food processor for about two weeks now. I bought my Mom one for her birthday in January, and it revolutionized my world. It does everything! It makes bread, mixes cookie dough and batters, slices, shreds, and chops. I fell in love.
The best part about it was that it came with this amazing salsa recipe. I am a salsa conniseur. I pick Mexican restaurants based on their salsa. I have been searching for the perfect recipe for several years now, since tostitos discontinued the only store-brand salsa I liked. Now, I had to have it.
So for the past two weeks I've been begging, pleading, whining, crying to get him to let me buy it! So last night, I was armed with a coupon and he had no choice. So we head to the store, and lo and behold. They have none!!! Not online, not in stock, and none were being shipped. So today, I made my Husband drive me an hour away where I had the last one in the metro area on hold.
Now I'm a happy girl...until I find my next much-needed item. Poor hubby, poor poor hubby. He is no match to my whining. Good thing he loves me. :)
I have been dying to buy a food processor for about two weeks now. I bought my Mom one for her birthday in January, and it revolutionized my world. It does everything! It makes bread, mixes cookie dough and batters, slices, shreds, and chops. I fell in love.
The best part about it was that it came with this amazing salsa recipe. I am a salsa conniseur. I pick Mexican restaurants based on their salsa. I have been searching for the perfect recipe for several years now, since tostitos discontinued the only store-brand salsa I liked. Now, I had to have it.
So for the past two weeks I've been begging, pleading, whining, crying to get him to let me buy it! So last night, I was armed with a coupon and he had no choice. So we head to the store, and lo and behold. They have none!!! Not online, not in stock, and none were being shipped. So today, I made my Husband drive me an hour away where I had the last one in the metro area on hold.
Now I'm a happy girl...until I find my next much-needed item. Poor hubby, poor poor hubby. He is no match to my whining. Good thing he loves me. :)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
And I remember why...
Last night, my Husband received a letter in the mail. It was from a woman he had never met before. This woman goes to church with his Grandma. What she wrote brought me to tears.
"You don't know me, I go to church with your Grandparents. Sometimes after church, we go out to eat together...I am looking out the window as I write, the tree branches are encased in an inch of ice and we have 12" of snow and it is still coming down. It is so beautiful and peaceful. I just wanted to drop a line and you how much I appreciate you and the other mean and women like you. Thanks to you we cna enjoy the freedoms we have here in America. I thank God for you and pray for you morning and night. God bless you and keep you safe."
This is why we do it. This is why he serves, why I wait through long deployments, why we survive them. For him, it is a passion. When he gets a note like this, when random people come up to him to thank him, when I see outpourings of gratitude for his service I am reminded that his job keeps me free. He fights for me. And not just me, but for everyone in this country. This is what makes all of the hard times completely worth every second.
"You don't know me, I go to church with your Grandparents. Sometimes after church, we go out to eat together...I am looking out the window as I write, the tree branches are encased in an inch of ice and we have 12" of snow and it is still coming down. It is so beautiful and peaceful. I just wanted to drop a line and you how much I appreciate you and the other mean and women like you. Thanks to you we cna enjoy the freedoms we have here in America. I thank God for you and pray for you morning and night. God bless you and keep you safe."
This is why we do it. This is why he serves, why I wait through long deployments, why we survive them. For him, it is a passion. When he gets a note like this, when random people come up to him to thank him, when I see outpourings of gratitude for his service I am reminded that his job keeps me free. He fights for me. And not just me, but for everyone in this country. This is what makes all of the hard times completely worth every second.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Hitchhiker
So it's official. I'm ready to send Blake back to Louisiana. Why you may ask? Was it because he made me do mounds of laundry? No. Was it because he snored too loudly last night? Nope. Or perhaps it was the fact that he made me miss my nap on my day off. No-it wasn't even that.
Well, I'll tell you why he is currently walking down the street with his thumb out. Because last night, while we were watching Teen Mom, he looked over at me and I was crying. Yes, that's right. Anything with babies can turn me into a babbling mess. And do you know what he does? Laughs. Mocks. Ridicules. Calls me a baby. That's right. Say hello to my wonderfully sweet, very empathetic husband. Not.
Take him back please.
Well, I'll tell you why he is currently walking down the street with his thumb out. Because last night, while we were watching Teen Mom, he looked over at me and I was crying. Yes, that's right. Anything with babies can turn me into a babbling mess. And do you know what he does? Laughs. Mocks. Ridicules. Calls me a baby. That's right. Say hello to my wonderfully sweet, very empathetic husband. Not.
Take him back please.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Home... and other adventures
So after last night's frustrating phone call, I was finally able to talk to my hubs. Turns out, the random woman had no clue what she was talking about and plans were back to normal. So at 1:45 am (they were early) I drag my happy butt out of bed, throw on some sweat pants, and head to post in Blake's Jeep.
Now, I have a love-hate relationship with this Jeep. I love it when there is lots of snow (such as this weekend) but I hate it every other day of the week. And I also hate driving on post...especially early in the morning. I have no clue which gate will be open, where to go, or how to get there. So I see that gate 4 is open (gate 7 is closest to my husband's company, but of course it was not open at 2 am). If you never have been on a military post, when you go through the gates they check your ID. You also have to turn off your lights before you come in so you don't blind the ID checker.
Enter another reason for me to dislike the Army. I remembered to turn off my lights, but it was 2 am which means that I was extremely tired and I can't see for anything. All I knew is that I needed to find Indiana Avenue. And then there were red and blue flashing lights. Thats right. Some MP (military police) had the nerve to pull me over! Didn't he know it was 2 am and I needed to pick up my husband who I hadn't seen in a month?!?!?! Noooo. Did he care? Noooo.
So after he asks for a thousand documents (license, registration, proof of insurance, and military ID), I ask him why I'm being pulled over. What had I done? I had forgotten to turn my lights back on after I went through the gate. Imagine that-I have no clue where I'm going, running on 3 hours of sleep, and I just want to get to my husband. No wonder I forgot. He ended up giving me a verbal warning after he called for back up (Yes, that's right. A second cop car pulls up with lights flashing. Seriously?).
Anyways, after all that he finally directed me to where I was supposed to be going and I successfully found my way to the company! Hurray! It's always a good day when I get where I'm going. So I arrived at 2:30. Just in time to wait forever (okay, it was only a half hour) to see him. Poor Blake. He was so excited to see me. And then my impatience sets in. I hate waiting. Especially at 2:30 am after I've been pulled over. Enter my impatient text messages:
-Are you close to being ready?
-I'm dying out here!
-I'm about to leave and go back to sleep.
-Do you think someone could bring you home?
That's right. It's all fun and exciting to have him home...until it's 3 am and I'm sleep deprived. But in all honesty, when we arrived at 5:30 am, my little apartment finally felt like home again. No more laying awake in bed thinking about all the gremlins and goblins that were going to get me in the middle of the night. (Yes, I am still afraid of the dark at 23. Don't judge.) I finally have my protector back. I just don't know what I am going to do in a few months when they decide to take him away again. Maybe he'll have a broken leg by then ;)
Now, I have a love-hate relationship with this Jeep. I love it when there is lots of snow (such as this weekend) but I hate it every other day of the week. And I also hate driving on post...especially early in the morning. I have no clue which gate will be open, where to go, or how to get there. So I see that gate 4 is open (gate 7 is closest to my husband's company, but of course it was not open at 2 am). If you never have been on a military post, when you go through the gates they check your ID. You also have to turn off your lights before you come in so you don't blind the ID checker.
Enter another reason for me to dislike the Army. I remembered to turn off my lights, but it was 2 am which means that I was extremely tired and I can't see for anything. All I knew is that I needed to find Indiana Avenue. And then there were red and blue flashing lights. Thats right. Some MP (military police) had the nerve to pull me over! Didn't he know it was 2 am and I needed to pick up my husband who I hadn't seen in a month?!?!?! Noooo. Did he care? Noooo.
So after he asks for a thousand documents (license, registration, proof of insurance, and military ID), I ask him why I'm being pulled over. What had I done? I had forgotten to turn my lights back on after I went through the gate. Imagine that-I have no clue where I'm going, running on 3 hours of sleep, and I just want to get to my husband. No wonder I forgot. He ended up giving me a verbal warning after he called for back up (Yes, that's right. A second cop car pulls up with lights flashing. Seriously?).
Anyways, after all that he finally directed me to where I was supposed to be going and I successfully found my way to the company! Hurray! It's always a good day when I get where I'm going. So I arrived at 2:30. Just in time to wait forever (okay, it was only a half hour) to see him. Poor Blake. He was so excited to see me. And then my impatience sets in. I hate waiting. Especially at 2:30 am after I've been pulled over. Enter my impatient text messages:
-Are you close to being ready?
-I'm dying out here!
-I'm about to leave and go back to sleep.
-Do you think someone could bring you home?
That's right. It's all fun and exciting to have him home...until it's 3 am and I'm sleep deprived. But in all honesty, when we arrived at 5:30 am, my little apartment finally felt like home again. No more laying awake in bed thinking about all the gremlins and goblins that were going to get me in the middle of the night. (Yes, I am still afraid of the dark at 23. Don't judge.) I finally have my protector back. I just don't know what I am going to do in a few months when they decide to take him away again. Maybe he'll have a broken leg by then ;)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Frustration. The first lesson you learn when your a military wife is that the military is very, very frustrating. And here's why. They never stick to plans! Example A: My husband has spent the past month in Fort Polk, Louisiana for JRTC (aka Afghanistan training). For the past week, I have known that he is coming home Tuesday morning at 3 am. I have been counting down the hours, minutes, and even seconds. I am so ready for him to be home!
Enter the phone call I received an hour ago.
Random woman: "I just wanted to let you know that your husband will arrive at 3 am, and he will be released to you at 11 am."
Me: "11 am?!?!?!?! I was told I could pick him up at 3 am. What do they need him an extra 8 hours for? They just had him for a month!!!"
R.W. "I don't know ma'am, but you can see him at 11."
Enter frustration. Now I know what your thinking, it's only an extra 8 hours. BUT IT'S AN EXTRA FREAKING 8 HOURS!!! I don't know what happens to my emotions when there is a homecoming, but they seem to go haywire. Any change to the plan can throw me through a loop. It doesn't matter how long he has been gone, be it a three days, a week, a month, or a year. When you know they are coming home, you start to get excited. You can't wait. You're ready to get back to your normal routine.
But now my normal routine must get delayed by 8 hours. So I'm off to stuff my face with chips and french onion dip...my frustration relief food. Freaking Army.
Enter the phone call I received an hour ago.
Random woman: "I just wanted to let you know that your husband will arrive at 3 am, and he will be released to you at 11 am."
Me: "11 am?!?!?!?! I was told I could pick him up at 3 am. What do they need him an extra 8 hours for? They just had him for a month!!!"
R.W. "I don't know ma'am, but you can see him at 11."
Enter frustration. Now I know what your thinking, it's only an extra 8 hours. BUT IT'S AN EXTRA FREAKING 8 HOURS!!! I don't know what happens to my emotions when there is a homecoming, but they seem to go haywire. Any change to the plan can throw me through a loop. It doesn't matter how long he has been gone, be it a three days, a week, a month, or a year. When you know they are coming home, you start to get excited. You can't wait. You're ready to get back to your normal routine.
But now my normal routine must get delayed by 8 hours. So I'm off to stuff my face with chips and french onion dip...my frustration relief food. Freaking Army.
Welcome!
Hello everyone! I will start this blog with a little info about us. I am Jessica and I am married to my wonderful husband, Steven. We have been married for about 6 months, but we dated for almost 6 years prior to getting married. We began dating in high school, and we had a typical high school relationship, rocky to say the least. After high school, I headed off to Butler University while Steven headed off to the Army. And that is where our journey truly began.
Fast forward a few years and here we are! By the grace of God, we made it through long distance relationships, deployments, and many other difficult times. Being an Army wife presents with new and different challenges. Not only do you have the typical marriage issues, but you also have to factor in all the extra challenges the military lifestyle brings...aka deployments.
I want to share our journey with you, so I can learn, grow, and hopefully get some advice! Hope you enjoy!
Fast forward a few years and here we are! By the grace of God, we made it through long distance relationships, deployments, and many other difficult times. Being an Army wife presents with new and different challenges. Not only do you have the typical marriage issues, but you also have to factor in all the extra challenges the military lifestyle brings...aka deployments.
I want to share our journey with you, so I can learn, grow, and hopefully get some advice! Hope you enjoy!
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