Dinner's Ready!

Oh my! I don't think I have ever had more epic fails in the kitchen than I did this week. It was bad...real bad. I'm talking doors and windows open, smoke alarm going off, and a smog-filled kitchen (as my Husband so lovingly described it).

It all started when the Pioneer Woman (see http://thepioneerwoman.com to see what I'm talking about) introduced me to a recipe that looked to delicious to resist. They were onion strings. I love these things, and the idea that I could actually make them made my heart skip a few beats. I would no longer have to wait until my Husband took me out to get these delicious treats.

I don't have a fry daddy, because we try to avoid anything fried but that was no biggie. The recipe said that I didn't need one, I just could make my own using a pot and some oil. But there was one item I was missing...a candy thermometer. You see, you were supposed to be monitoring the temperature of the oil so it didn't get to hot. That is where I got a bit cocky. I thought it was no big deal-I could just monitor it on my own and "guess" at them temperature.

So I made the delicious little things. I made my own buttermilk, sliced my onions with the greatest food processor on the planet, and created a beautiful flour coating. Once the onions were coated in the flour, it was showtime. I dunked them in the hot oil waiting to see the flour turn to golden, crunchy perfection. That is not what happened.

They immediately turned black. I mean the blackest black you have ever seen. And the smoke. Oh my gosh the smoke. It was everywhere. Oh boy was it thick too. My eyes were watering, my Husband was heckling me, and I was just upset that I wasn't going to get any onion strings. Every window and every door was wide open. The fans were turned on high, and we had to literally fan the smoke out of our apartment.

I not only set off the downstairs alarm, but the upstairs alarm as well. Good thing we have a townhome or our upstairs neighbors would have been evacuating as well. It was bad. So bad. To make matters worse, I didn't stop there. I decided to try another recipe. It was just a fail. Not an epic fail like this one. But this is enough confessions for today. I'll leave my next failure for another day. Moral of the story: If they say you need a candy thermometer, just believe them.

Ch-Ch-Changes

My brother and I were talking earlier, and he told me about a text he found on an old phone of his. This text was a great find. Not necessarily because of the content, but because of the sender. We both lost a great friend about 2 1/2 years ago, and the text was from him.

I have to admit, I was a little jealous of him. Every time I find one of my old phones, that is the first thing I look for. But of course, I always had my texts transferred to my new phone so they are always deleted. We got to talking about how finding something as small as a text can make you start thinking about the past.

The last time I got a text from him was 6 days before the wreck. I still remember the words exactly. I have them written down so I'll never forget them. Unfortunately, the text isn't on my phone anymore, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

Life has changed drastically in the last 2-3 years. That isn't a long time, but everything has changed. Nothing has stayed the same. And that is how life is supposed to be. It doesn't mean we can't look back and think about how great that time was. I think we, as Americans, are too focused on what is coming next. We need to be more present in the present, because it will all change too fast. And we can never go back.

I know I am guilty of it too. I'm constantly thinking about getting through this week, waiting on the next payday, wishing for December (when I'm done with my Masters), and just not living in the moment. Don't get me wrong, I think planning is a great thing, but I just think we need to take more time to cherish the moments we have.

No-one is guaranteed tomorrow. Life can change in a split second. It was just three years ago that I was a sophomore in college, running around with my best friends at college, having the time of my life, and completely oblivious to the fact that my life would be greatly altered in 8 months.

We can't live our lives in the past. That does us no good. No matter how much we wish we could have changed things, we can't. All we can do is learn our lesson. Learn to live more fully and to enjoy every minute we have with our loved ones.

So that is my New Year's Resolution (even though I'm only about three months behind). To be more present, to stop putting things off until next week, and to just enjoy my life now. Because this phase in my life is fleeting, just like all the other phases. And I want to enjoy it. I don't want it to pass me by. It's time to slow down, and just realize that life is good.

How my Husband and Father are alike

I've always heard people say that girls marry guys that are like their father. I remember thinking that was a bunch of bologna. Blake was the farthest thing from my Dad, I thought. Then I married him, and I swear he changed. It was like living with my Dad all over again. Slowly, my Mom caught onto this as well. I thought I'd share with all of you how my Husband and Father are alike.

Number 1. They sing. All the time. I'm not talking normal, radio songs either. These are songs that they've made up on their own. For example, my Dad is constantly singing a song he calls "Rocky Doodle." It's about my dog Rocky, and no joke, I used to hear it about 4x a day. My Husband isn't quite so clever. He just takes radio-songs and changes the lyrics to fit whatever the situation may be. He sings his creations constantly.

Number 2. They likes to pick on me. Matter of fact, a little less than a month into our marriage, he said to me, "You haven't had a molly-whoopin' in a while have you?" (translation molly-whoopin'=picked on/worked over/etc) I've lived my entire life hearing a this similar version from my Dad: "You need to be worked over, don't ya?" The day my Husband said this to me, I could have cried. I thought my days of being picked on were done. I was wrong.

Number 3. They take the looooong way. I've lived my entire life going on vacations with my Dad. Inevitably, we would end up passing an exit, turn the wrong way, or just straight end up lost. After we realized we had messed up, my Dad would drive 5 miles before he would turn around. It drove me insane. On our honeymoon, my Husband did the same thing. Once again, I could have cried. To get from Point A to Point B, they go to Point C first. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a man thing.

Number 4. They talk in strange voices. Everytime I call home, if my Dad answers the phone, it is always in this strange pseudo-Chinese accent. Blake imitates the Tyler Perry character called Madea. I can't even describe it. Needless to say, I already feel sorry for my unborn children.

Number 5. They don't like displays of emotions. Especially crying. My Mom and I are both big saps, and for the majority of my life, we have watched movies while being heckled by my Dad for crying. He will wait and watch for it. And if you cry, be prepared to get mocked. My Husband is the exact same. Lately when we watch movies, if it's a really sad or sweet part, I've noticed that he stops and looks at me. Just to see if I'm going to cry! If I am, he laughs...hysterically. Jerks.

I think I'm doomed. I can't believe I fell into this trap. I still have no clue how this happened. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever actually left home. Dear Lord, please save me.

What I've learned so far

I've been married for a little over 6 months now. I am no expert, but I have learned a lot in those months. I've learned that marriage can bring out the best and the worst in yourself and in your spouse. Hopefully, you see the best more than you see the worst.

I've also learned that on some days, it is the best thing in the world. Then, the next day, you want to kill them. Yesterday, I experienced the latter. I wanted to strangle my husband. It didn't matter what he did, what he said, or if he just left me alone. I just wanted to kill him.

Once again, I know this goes back to my plate being a little too full. I had a test to complete, paper to write, a computer that wasn't cooperating, journal abstracts to complete, and research that needed to be done. And then, he lost his wallet. You would have thought the world was going to end. I'm neck deep in work, and all he can do is yell at me to help him find it. I checked our bank online and knew that no-one had it so I wasn't too concerned. But the world was ending. At least he thought so.

So I helped out. Mainly because I knew the quicker he found it, the quicker he could get out of my hair. Lo and behold it had fallen off the table into my work bag so crisis was averted. At least that crisis. By that time, my desire to kill him had increased. I had lost 30 valuable minutes of work time, and now I was off-task. Once I get side-tracked, it is hard for me to get back into the work mode. But he wasn't concerned about that.

Men and women think differently. I truly believe that they are from different planets. All he could focus on was that he could not find his wallet. Me on the other hand, all I was worried about was finishing my work and making sure no-one was using our checking account. No-one was so I was good to go back to work. I don't make him search frantically when I lose my keys or cell phone for the hundredth time. Just a difference in gender. And brain capacities. Just kidding.

I believe marriage is a wonderful thing even if your not crazy-in-love everyday. Hollywood love is just that. Hollywood. Not real. It's important to know that when you enter a relationship, and especially marriage. Life isn't roses and candlelight dinners all the time. It's about sharing chores, driving each other bonkers, compromise, and learning how to love each other through the rough times. Love isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

If it was just a feeling, everyone would end up divorced. Feelings come and go. Marriage is supposed to be forever. That's the goal. That's the choice we make everyday. So instead of killing my husband, I choose to love him. I choose to move past the little annoyances. Because I know that I would want him to do the same thing.

Grr...Children...

I don't know what it is, but for some reason, children cannot handle snow days. When school finally starts back up, they seem to have forgotten all their senses. ALL OF THEM. It's like they forgot how to behave.

I work 3 days a week at an elementary school as a speech therapist. I haven't worked a full week since mid-January. Between snow days, professional development conferences, and countless IEP meetings, therapy has been hit or miss. On Friday, I headed back into work for a full day of work. And by noon, I was ready to either kick some children or drink heavily. Yes, it was that bad.

I had kids crawling on the ground, whining because we weren't playing the game they wanted, and being flat out brats. There is nothing I can't stand more than a bratty, disrespectful child. Needless to say, I yelled...ALOT...and sent kids back to their rooms. It was a rock and cry kind of day.

I have never been more happy to leave that parking lot. When I got home, the hubs recognized the stress that was written all over my face and decided we needed to go out and have some fun. So we headed out last night for some good music, time with good friends, and to forget about our day! It worked wonders. Now, I'm actually considering going back on Monday...maybe.

Sometimes, no matter how much you love your job, work just...for lack of a better word...sucks. Especially right now for me. It seems to take a whole lot less to make me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for the next 3 months. I have way too many assignments due, drive about 7.5 hours each week for grad school, and have to sit in class for 8 hours. Time. There is just not enough of it available.

I was talking to a friend from school, and she feels the same way. She pointed out a very important fact...it will all be over soon. What a relief. I graduate in 10 months, and its a good thing, because otherwise I would probably quit. Its not years, just months. And months seems to be manageable. Now if only I could get the kids to cooperate.

And if they don't, Lord help them. Because they will have one crazed-speech therapist on their hands. And thats not good for anyone.

Valentine's Day

Chocolate, roses, champagne, cards, and hearts can only mean one thing. It's Valentine's Day! Normally I am not a fan of Valentine's Day. I don't like roses, I eat way too much chocolates, and it takes forever to get into a restaurant. But not this year. This year, I love it. For one-my Husband is home, and two-he planned the perfect Valentine's ever.

Blake planned for us to stay downtown Nashville for a night and made reservations at a wonderful restaurant. We left all our stress behind and headed out for a wonderful weekend. We spent Saturday relaxing and enjoying each others' company. We got to get dressed up and spend two hours eating by candlelight. Something completely out of the ordinary, but wonderful.

I work three days a week, am a full-time graduate student, and have to find time to get homework done, do laundry, clean the house, shower, and sleep. My life is a bit stressful to say the least. Blake and I may live together, but we don't get to spend a lot of good, quality time together. This adds loads of stress when there is a deployment around the corner. You want to cherish every second together, and you are very aware of the fact that there are just not enough seconds to get everything done.

Thats why this weekend was so wonderful. It allowed us to forget about everything: deployments, military life, grad school, work, chores. We were able to talk about anything and everything, and to be honest, it felt like we were just dating again. It was completely and totally refreshing. I know feel like I can face everything that is coming in the next few months.

Sometimes you just need to get away. Even if it means just going 45 minutes away.

And reality hits

These past couple of days have been...quite interesting to say the least. We are officially into the "pre-deployment" days. Blake is packing his bags and shipping containers to Afghanistan so they will be there when he arrives in a few, all-to-short months. While we still do not know an exact date, we know it will come around the end of April-beginning of May mark. And. I. Am. Not. Ready. I repeat. NOT. READY. AT. ALL.

The other day we got a card in the mail about life insurance. On him. Not me. At first I just set it down and didn't think too much about it. Then he began packing. And it hit me. Is this something we need? Am I seriously thinking about getting extra life insurance on my 22-year-old husband?

Unfortunately, I know all to well how fragile life is. My best friend died in a car wreck on a road he drove almost daily. While my now-husband was fighting a war in Iraq. It doesn't really matter where you are. However, a pending deployment to the Afghanistan-Pakistan border kind of makes you think twice about how fragile life really is.

And I hate it. I hate having to even entertain that thought. My husband is 22. He has children that he needs to make, family vacations to take, and anniversaries to celebrate. I hate deployments. I hate this point in the deployment process. I hate having to mentally prepare myself to be alone for a year, to figure out how to keep communication open when we're 7,000 miles apart, and mostly, I hate seeing him pack. Because packing always leads to leaving. And the only thing I hate more than packing is leaving. Goodbyes are not fun. Especially not deployment goodbyes.

And I hate thinking about the "what-if." What-ifs can ruin your life. However, they are necessary at times like this. These conversations about wills, life insurance, and funeral plans are, unfortunately, necessary. To be a military wife, you have to know how to prepare. And sadly, you have to be prepared for every possible situation. So how do you do it? You suck it up, tuck away your emotions, and have the conversation (without having a crazy emotional breakdown). And then you pray. Pray that you never, ever have to use that knowledge.

And for me? I hold onto-Eat, Sleep, and Breathe-Jeremiah 29:11. God has worked through us and our marriage to make us better people. He has given us blessings beyond compare and I know-I believe-that he is not done yet.



"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

THE question

On Monday night, Blake and I headed to Nashville to have dinner with his Uncle Chris. Chris lives in Montana, and we haven't seen him for about two years so we were excited that he was in town. Within five minutes of our meeting, Chris asked THE question. The one I have known was going to come eventually, but I always expected it to come after graduation and the deployment. So what was the question? "When are you guys going to start giving us some babies?"

Oh my. We are not ready to start thinking about this. At least I'm not. Blake on the other hand would be quite content to have a child running around right now. But that's because he doesn't have to carry the thing around for 9 months and endure labor. I've heard stories, and I am in no way ready for that.

For as long as I can remember, the one thing I've always wanted to be is a Mom. I love babies. The way they smell, how they fall asleep in your arms, how good it feels when you can make them stop crying, and most importantly, buying things for them. I love to shop anyways, but shopping for a baby is just so much more fun.

So would I love to be a Mom? Yes. Would I love it right now? No. Truth of the matter is that I love just being married. I love being able to do whatever we want, whenever we want it. And on top of that we've got to many things to accomplish before we even begin to think of parenthood. So here is our list. Our list of things that need to be accomplished before we have children.

1. I need to graduate with my M.S.
2. Blake needs to become an N.C.O. (non-commissioned officer), or go to warrant officer school.
3. Travel to Europe.
4. Travel to the Caribbean.
5. Become Jessica Montgomery, SLP-CCC M.S. (which happens after I complete my clinical fellowship after graduation and takes approximately 9 months).
6. Be living in a house, rented or owned, I'm not picky. I do not want to be the annoying neighbors who have a baby crying at all hours of the night.
7. Have a full-time job, with great benefits and great co-workers. That way I'll have good baby showers. Haha-just kidding.
8. Be close to moving back to Indiana. I need free babysitters.
9. Win the lottery. Because I want to be a stay-at-home Mommy. Or start a photography business, or get a book deal.
10. Have a good portion of my student loans paid off.

So there you have it. All the things I/we need to accomplish before there is a Jessica Jr. running around-and yes our first born will be a girl despite what Blake says.

How Superbowl is like Christianity

On our way to church.

Blake: "I wonder if they are going to talk about football today."

Me: "I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

Blake: "Well it's Superbowl Sunday and you know, it's a good metaphor for Christianity. You know, there are two teams-Heaven and Hell, but instead of fighting one day a year, they fight every day."

So there you have. Faith a la my husband.

What's life without a little bit of spoiling?

My poor Husband. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. I am spoiled. Beyond belief. I was the first girl grandchild on my Mom's side, and all my other cousins on my Dad's side are at least 10 years older than me if not more. So it's been this way since birth. And I love it. Needless to say, I am use to getting my way.

I have been dying to buy a food processor for about two weeks now. I bought my Mom one for her birthday in January, and it revolutionized my world. It does everything! It makes bread, mixes cookie dough and batters, slices, shreds, and chops. I fell in love.

The best part about it was that it came with this amazing salsa recipe. I am a salsa conniseur. I pick Mexican restaurants based on their salsa. I have been searching for the perfect recipe for several years now, since tostitos discontinued the only store-brand salsa I liked. Now, I had to have it.

So for the past two weeks I've been begging, pleading, whining, crying to get him to let me buy it! So last night, I was armed with a coupon and he had no choice. So we head to the store, and lo and behold. They have none!!! Not online, not in stock, and none were being shipped. So today, I made my Husband drive me an hour away where I had the last one in the metro area on hold.

Now I'm a happy girl...until I find my next much-needed item. Poor hubby, poor poor hubby. He is no match to my whining. Good thing he loves me. :)

And I remember why...

Last night, my Husband received a letter in the mail. It was from a woman he had never met before. This woman goes to church with his Grandma. What she wrote brought me to tears.

"You don't know me, I go to church with your Grandparents. Sometimes after church, we go out to eat together...I am looking out the window as I write, the tree branches are encased in an inch of ice and we have 12" of snow and it is still coming down. It is so beautiful and peaceful. I just wanted to drop a line and you how much I appreciate you and the other mean and women like you. Thanks to you we cna enjoy the freedoms we have here in America. I thank God for you and pray for you morning and night. God bless you and keep you safe."

This is why we do it. This is why he serves, why I wait through long deployments, why we survive them. For him, it is a passion. When he gets a note like this, when random people come up to him to thank him, when I see outpourings of gratitude for his service I am reminded that his job keeps me free. He fights for me. And not just me, but for everyone in this country. This is what makes all of the hard times completely worth every second.

Hitchhiker

So it's official. I'm ready to send Blake back to Louisiana. Why you may ask? Was it because he made me do mounds of laundry? No. Was it because he snored too loudly last night? Nope. Or perhaps it was the fact that he made me miss my nap on my day off. No-it wasn't even that.

Well, I'll tell you why he is currently walking down the street with his thumb out. Because last night, while we were watching Teen Mom, he looked over at me and I was crying. Yes, that's right. Anything with babies can turn me into a babbling mess. And do you know what he does? Laughs. Mocks. Ridicules. Calls me a baby. That's right. Say hello to my wonderfully sweet, very empathetic husband. Not.

Take him back please.

Home... and other adventures

So after last night's frustrating phone call, I was finally able to talk to my hubs. Turns out, the random woman had no clue what she was talking about and plans were back to normal. So at 1:45 am (they were early) I drag my happy butt out of bed, throw on some sweat pants, and head to post in Blake's Jeep.

Now, I have a love-hate relationship with this Jeep. I love it when there is lots of snow (such as this weekend) but I hate it every other day of the week. And I also hate driving on post...especially early in the morning. I have no clue which gate will be open, where to go, or how to get there. So I see that gate 4 is open (gate 7 is closest to my husband's company, but of course it was not open at 2 am). If you never have been on a military post, when you go through the gates they check your ID. You also have to turn off your lights before you come in so you don't blind the ID checker.

Enter another reason for me to dislike the Army. I remembered to turn off my lights, but it was 2 am which means that I was extremely tired and I can't see for anything. All I knew is that I needed to find Indiana Avenue. And then there were red and blue flashing lights. Thats right. Some MP (military police) had the nerve to pull me over! Didn't he know it was 2 am and I needed to pick up my husband who I hadn't seen in a month?!?!?! Noooo. Did he care? Noooo.

So after he asks for a thousand documents (license, registration, proof of insurance, and military ID), I ask him why I'm being pulled over. What had I done? I had forgotten to turn my lights back on after I went through the gate. Imagine that-I have no clue where I'm going, running on 3 hours of sleep, and I just want to get to my husband. No wonder I forgot. He ended up giving me a verbal warning after he called for back up (Yes, that's right. A second cop car pulls up with lights flashing. Seriously?).

Anyways, after all that he finally directed me to where I was supposed to be going and I successfully found my way to the company! Hurray! It's always a good day when I get where I'm going. So I arrived at 2:30. Just in time to wait forever (okay, it was only a half hour) to see him. Poor Blake. He was so excited to see me. And then my impatience sets in. I hate waiting. Especially at 2:30 am after I've been pulled over. Enter my impatient text messages:

-Are you close to being ready?
-I'm dying out here!
-I'm about to leave and go back to sleep.
-Do you think someone could bring you home?

That's right. It's all fun and exciting to have him home...until it's 3 am and I'm sleep deprived. But in all honesty, when we arrived at 5:30 am, my little apartment finally felt like home again. No more laying awake in bed thinking about all the gremlins and goblins that were going to get me in the middle of the night. (Yes, I am still afraid of the dark at 23. Don't judge.) I finally have my protector back. I just don't know what I am going to do in a few months when they decide to take him away again. Maybe he'll have a broken leg by then ;)

Frustration. The first lesson you learn when your a military wife is that the military is very, very frustrating. And here's why. They never stick to plans! Example A: My husband has spent the past month in Fort Polk, Louisiana for JRTC (aka Afghanistan training). For the past week, I have known that he is coming home Tuesday morning at 3 am. I have been counting down the hours, minutes, and even seconds. I am so ready for him to be home!

Enter the phone call I received an hour ago.

Random woman: "I just wanted to let you know that your husband will arrive at 3 am, and he will be released to you at 11 am."

Me: "11 am?!?!?!?! I was told I could pick him up at 3 am. What do they need him an extra 8 hours for? They just had him for a month!!!"

R.W. "I don't know ma'am, but you can see him at 11."

Enter frustration. Now I know what your thinking, it's only an extra 8 hours. BUT IT'S AN EXTRA FREAKING 8 HOURS!!! I don't know what happens to my emotions when there is a homecoming, but they seem to go haywire. Any change to the plan can throw me through a loop. It doesn't matter how long he has been gone, be it a three days, a week, a month, or a year. When you know they are coming home, you start to get excited. You can't wait. You're ready to get back to your normal routine.

But now my normal routine must get delayed by 8 hours. So I'm off to stuff my face with chips and french onion dip...my frustration relief food. Freaking Army.

Welcome!

Hello everyone! I will start this blog with a little info about us. I am Jessica and I am married to my wonderful husband, Steven. We have been married for about 6 months, but we dated for almost 6 years prior to getting married. We began dating in high school, and we had a typical high school relationship, rocky to say the least. After high school, I headed off to Butler University while Steven headed off to the Army. And that is where our journey truly began.

Fast forward a few years and here we are! By the grace of God, we made it through long distance relationships, deployments, and many other difficult times. Being an Army wife presents with new and different challenges. Not only do you have the typical marriage issues, but you also have to factor in all the extra challenges the military lifestyle brings...aka deployments.

I want to share our journey with you, so I can learn, grow, and hopefully get some advice! Hope you enjoy!