Learning to Dance in the Rain

We are 4 days away from the deployment, and I am really feeling it. I'm just not ready, but then again, I don't think I will ever be. No matter how many times I will have to do this, I don't think I will ever be ready to send him half way around the world. Nothing can prepare you for this, but that doesn't mean I haven't been trying.

This quote has been my motto for the last 6 weeks as I've been preparing for this deployment: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I'm living, breathing, and eating that motto right now. I'm trying to dance in this rainstorm we are in right now.

It's just not a fun time for us right now. All I can think about is the deployment, and thats the last thing Blake wants to think about. I'm the type of person who needs to talk about something until I'm blue in the face, and that's not exactly Blake's style. He's a very stoic man, and while I know this is hard for him too, he just doesn't show it much.

We're learning to find the little positives in our situation. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds during the last deployment, and we are looking forward to that. Being apart for a year, adds depth and maturity to a relationship in a way no other experience can. You learn new things about your spouse, learn to let things go, and learn how to keep communication open in new ways. I have been able to appreciate Blake in a thousand new ways due to our previous deployment and to preparing for another deployment.

While this year seems like it's going to last forever, I know it's only a minuscule amount of time when compared to the rest of our lives. I'm ready to jump into this deployment, because there is no other way. You don't get to dip your toes into it to see if your ready to get in, you don't get to ease into, you just have to jump cannonball style into it. And that's what we are getting ready to do.